The Girl on the Boat - Penn State University

oosting in all your life, I’m going to ring for J. B.
Midgeley and I’m going to tell him to bring me a bit of
dinner in here and I’m going to eat it before your eyes.”
“But you’ve had dinner.”
“Well, I’ll have another. I feel just ready for a nice fat
pork chop ….”
“Stop! Stop!”
“A nice fat pork chop with potatoes and lots of cabbage,”
repeated Sam firmly. “And I shall eat it here on
this very lounge. Now how do we go?”
“You wouldn’t do that!” said Eustace piteously.
“I would and will.”
“But I shouldn’t be any good at the piano. I’ve forgotten
how the thing used to go.”
“You haven’t done anything of the kind. I come in
and say ‘Hullo, Ernest!’ and you say ‘Hullo, Frank!’
and then you help me tell the story about the Pullman
car. A child could do your part of it.”
“Perhaps there is some child on board ….”
“No. I want you. I shall feel safe with you. We’ve
done it together before.”
P. G. Wodehouse
67
“But, honestly, I really don’t think … it isn’t as if ….”
Sam rose and extended a finger towards the bell.
“Stop! Stop!” cried Eustace Hignett. “I’ll do it!”
Sam withdrew his finger.
“Good!” he said. “We’ve just got time for a rehearsal
while you’re dressing. ‘Hullo, Ernest!’”
“‘Hullo, Frank,’” said Eustace Hignett brokenly as
he searched for his unfamiliar trousers.