The Girl on the Boat - Penn State University

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ceased to include the whole sex in my remarks. Jane Hubbard has restored my faith in Woman. Sam! Sam!” “What?” “I said that Jane Hubbard had restored my faith in Woman.” “Oh, all right.” Eustace Hignett finished undressing and got into bed. With a soft smile on his face he switched off the light. <strong>The</strong>re was a long silence, broken only by the distant purring of the engines. At about twelve-thirty a voice came from the lower berth. “Sam!” “What is it now?” “<strong>The</strong>re is a sweet womanly strength about her, Sam. She was telling me she once killed a panther with a hat-pin.” Sam groaned and tossed on his mattress. Silence fell again. “At least I think it was a panther,” said Eustace Hignett at a quarter past one. “Either a panther or a puma.” <strong>The</strong> <strong>Girl</strong> on the Boat 82 CHAPTER VIII Sir Mallaby Offers a Suggestion 1 A WEEK AFTER the liner “Atlantic” had docked at Southampton Sam Marlowe might have been observed—and was observed by various of the residents— sitting on a bench on the esplanade of that rising watering-place, Bingley-on-the-Sea, in Sussex. All watering-places on the south coast of England are blots on the landscape, but though I am aware that by saying it I shall offend the civic pride of some of the others— none are so peculiarly foul as Bingley-on-the-Sea. <strong>The</strong> asphalte on the Bingley esplanade is several degrees more depressing than the asphalte on other esplanades. <strong>The</strong> Swiss waiters at the Hotel Magnificent, where Sam
was stopping, are in a class of bungling incompetence by themselves, the envy and despair of all the other Swiss waiters at all the other Hotels Magnificent along the coast. For dreariness of aspect Bingley-on-the-Sea stands alone. <strong>The</strong> very waves that break on its shingle seem to creep up the beach reluctantly, as if it revolted them to have to come to such a place. Why, then, was Sam Marlowe visiting this ozoneswept Gehenna? Why, with all the rest of England at his disposal, had he chosen to spend a week at breezy, blighted Bingley? Simply because he had been disappointed in love. Nothing is more curious than the myriad ways in which reaction from an unfortunate love-affair manifests itself in various men. No two males behave in the same way under the spur of female fickleness. Archilochum, for instance, according to the Roman writer, proprio rabies armavit iambo. It is no good pretending out of politeness that you know what that means, so I will translate. Rabies—his grouch—armavit— armed—Archilochum—Archilochus—iambo—with the iam- P. G. Wodehouse 83 bic—proprio—his own invention. In other words, when the poet Archilochus was handed his hat by the lady of his affections, he consoled himself by going off and writing satirical verse about her in a new metre which he had thought up immediately after leaving the house. That was the way the thing affected him. On the other hand, we read in a recent issue of a London daily paper that John Simmons (31), a meatsalesman, was accused of assaulting an officer while in the discharge of his duty, at the same time using profane language whereby the officer went in fear of his life. Constable Riggs deposed that on the evening of the eleventh instant while he was on his beat, prisoner accosted him and, after offering to fight him for fourpence, drew off his right boot and threw it at his head. Accused, questioned by the magistrate, admitted the charge and expressed regret, pleading that he had had words with his young woman, and it had upset him. Neither of these courses appealed to Samuel Marlowe. He had sought relief by slinking off alone to
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT BY P. G. WODEH
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THE GIRL ON THE BOAT CHAPTER I A Di
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Breakfast was on the table in the s
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“Oh, no! I play cricket a bit and
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he had had to leave for England him
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“No?” “I’m not a man who
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eggs and a rasher of ham get cut of
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ellers off. There
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He had said nothing. Not a sound, e
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“She was an extraordinarily prett
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“Did you explain about the trouse
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He wore a bowler hat, and from time
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He was still busy with this congeni
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his middle, and accompanied him bel
Page 31 and 32: “Where is she?” “Where’s wh
Page 33 and 34: ing pea-green, rolled over on his s
Page 35 and 36: said it was all right. So it’s al
Page 37 and 38: as utterly heartless. Marlowe regar
Page 39 and 40: “Green. There is
Page 41 and 42: “I see!” said Sam. He shot his
Page 43 and 44: “While you’re down there, just
Page 45 and 46: and the males in the audience will
Page 47 and 48: “I am the Bandolero!” sang Sam
Page 49 and 50: which he had had through the portho
Page 51 and 52: in the mental scale. This morning,
Page 53 and 54: “Oh, hello!” “Why, Bream!”
Page 55 and 56: the only girl in the world! I have
Page 57 and 58: “Then,” said B
Page 59 and 60: iage under conditions like that. Wh
Page 61 and 62: “I think you were hard on him. A
Page 63 and 64: “How do I look?” Eustace Hignet
Page 65 and 66: “Ah, well, it’s seven years ago
Page 67 and 68: oosting in all your life, I’m goi
Page 69 and 70: other, had come back and rendered p
Page 71 and 72: like a man who was seeing some ghas
Page 73 and 74: to the door and took the note from
Page 75 and 76: “That’s good.” “But you’r
Page 77 and 78: of blacking up! You talk as though
Page 79 and 80: “what have you to say for yoursel
Page 81: a couple of days since my engagemen
Page 85 and 86: of Sam he laid down both engines of
Page 87 and 88: “Very well, Sir Mallaby.” “Th
Page 89 and 90: “Oh, what’s the good of answeri
Page 91 and 92: gines. Probably you have been feeli
Page 93 and 94: Sam started at his parent’s splen
Page 95 and 96: would chill her to the bone, and ri
Page 97 and 98: start. Cool and distant. Out of the
Page 99 and 100: “Awfully sorry, father! Don’t k
Page 101 and 102: “We do not require a large place,
Page 103 and 104: you it isn’t in that woman to cha
Page 105 and 106: and claimed that England had seen f
Page 107 and 108: It was a superb morning. It was as
Page 109 and 110: comfort was acute. Insects, some wi
Page 111 and 112: “Hullo!” said Bream, with amiab
Page 113 and 114: 4 EVEN INTO THE BLACKEST days there
Page 115 and 116: Hignett had stirred his memory. “
Page 117 and 118: He brooded for half an hour, and, a
Page 119 and 120: knockout blow; his number was up; a
Page 121 and 122: “Good-night, sir.” “Stop a mo
Page 123 and 124: Mr. Bennett had no pistol, but he d
Page 125 and 126: Mr. Bennett drew himself up as haug
Page 127 and 128: nary ball with the mashie which he
Page 129 and 130: “Dropped my pen!” he gurgled ag
Page 131 and 132: comfortable. Yesterday afternoon fa
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“But he may be lurking out there
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instantly, for Jno. Peters was one
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Mortimer take a bowl of gold fish o
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consternation, he could not check a
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use. He had given this sensitive gi
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limitation caused him to remain spe
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Mr. Bennett scorched him with a loo
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“What do you mean, be very carefu
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dise which Nature had intended it t
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Grocery Stores in Windlehurst—app
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“Five!” ejaculated Mr. Bennett,
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me to America, because I thought I
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“Sitting on the gate, miss. Yes,
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foreground. How eagerly he would ju
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“Will you take this to Miss Benne
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heart, had bribed a tramp to simula
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to occupy Sam’s thoughts for a mo
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“Quite easily, sir. I can admit y
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those abridged passenger-lists whic
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All the proprietor in Mrs. Hignett
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auders was to be dislodged she must
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gagements, and she could by no mean
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eveller creeping up to bed in the d
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“Lie back quite comfortably, and
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A charming smile spread itself over
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She sat in her chair and gulped; an
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cream in front of a fire. T
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“Get out!” whispered Sam tensel
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a violent activity descended upon h
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finished leaping into the air. She
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“I’m going,” said Billie reso
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“If you don’t come quick, I’l
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“Yes,” said Mr. Bennett, remind
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“Get out and crank her.” Bream
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der her arms, lifted her like a kit
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There was a long s
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ing the helmet on the floor of the
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