Fish friers Review - Mar / Apr 2012 - Issue 2 - National Federation of ...

THE fish friers REVIEW
Roland Geordie
The thoughts of a Northern fryer,
trading in a Cornish harbour
The things they say
As I write these articles I often wonder if I’m preaching to the
converted. We all stand in the same place, at the same times of
day, cooking the same things, albeit slightly differently. We all
encounter the same personalities and I’m sure asked the same
questions. Customers, love ‘em or hate ‘em… we cannot do
without them. The job would be a lot easier if we could do
without them... and staff... and the VAT man. But... we do need
them, except the VAT man. And sometimes we even love them
(again, forget the latter).
At very busy times we have the basic things in the top box like cod
and plain and battered sausages. This is the product we know is
going to go out the door within
5 minutes of being cooked. For
other things we have notices
saying ‘Cooked to order
Haddock’, ‘Chicken Nuggets’,
‘Kids Boxed Meals’ etc. etc.
“
Your daughter has just
bought FISH and chips
and she is a vegetarian?
So even with these signs saying
‘PLEASE ORDER blardy, blah
ON ARRIVAL’ and then the
question… ‘Do you have to order Haddock?’ YES, I say. Anything
that says ‘PLEASE ORDER ON ARRIVAL’…. ‘Can I have a Haddock
then please?’
We ask our customers lots of questions when they come to the
counter. Things like would you like salt and vinegar and would you
like it open or wrapped? One lady who was asked would she like
her fish and chips twice, open or wrapped? Replied with, ‘why, what
is the difference?’ I had to explain that open was to eat now while
walking around the harbour and wrapped is to take home and eat
in front of the telly. ‘But I’m on holiday, I live 200 miles away, they
will be cold by then’ came the reply.
How many times have we all been stood in the dark with your coat
on and the door locked ready to go home only for someone to
knock on the door and when you go and unlock it say ‘hello’
through the crack, ‘are you open?’ ‘It says closed on the door, but
I suppose you’re open’, ‘No we ARE closed’…’I will have two Cod
then’.
Now if we have any inkling that someone in the queue is a
vegetarian, then we point out that we fry in beef dripping. One
afternoon a lady came into the shop and tapped on the top of the
range to get my attention, I said hello… LADY: ‘my daughter has
just bought Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas from here and she is a
vegetarian and you fry in beef dripping!!’ ME… ‘Your daughter has
just bought FISH and chips and she is a vegetarian?’ LADY ‘Yes, and
you fry in beef dripping’, ME ‘But she had a FISH’, LADY ‘Yes, Fish
and Chips cooked in Beef Dripping’, ME ‘But how can she be a
vegetarian if she eats FISH??’,
LADY ‘But you fry in Beef
Dripping’. Oh dear I’m getting
“
Issue 2 March/April 2012
fed up by now... ME ‘my
daughter is a vegetarian also
and when we go out anywhere
to eat she always asks if there
is anything suitable for
vegetarians and asks about
ingredients, did your daughter
ask anyone what we fry in?’ LADY ‘No, but you fry in Beef Dripping
and she had Fish and Chips and she is a VEGETARIAN’... and she
stormed out!
Other random things... Do you do bags of chips? Is this vinegar? Do
you sell HAIR GRIPS?
The thing is, no matter what they say or do we DO love them. So
we have to remember that if they did not come in saying silly
things, what would get us through the day?
On a final note, the Christmas lights were being put up here in
Mullion where we live at the end of November. I stood watching
and then asked ‘when do they all get switched on?’ ‘The 16th’
came the reply ‘16th of when?’ I asked. The fella up the ladder
looked down at his mate holding the ladder and said ‘the things
they say’...
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