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WOE UNTO YOU, LAWYERS!

WOE UNTO YOU, LAWYERS!

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CHAPTER V<br />

NO TAX ON MAX<br />

“’If the law supposes that,’ said Mr. Bumble….<br />

‘the law is a ass, a idiot.’” –Charles Dickens<br />

In case anyone should suppose that the exalted acme of the lawyers’ art<br />

known as Constitutional Law can not possibly be so unconvincing, so inept, so silly<br />

as a quick summary of Supreme Court logic perhaps makes it sound, it might not be<br />

too bad an idea to take one of the Court’s ukases about<br />

the-Constitution-and-what-it-really-means, and give that ukase, or opinion, a<br />

thorough going-over. The subject of this little experiment in vivisection will be a<br />

case known to the lawyers as Senior v. Braden. It was decided by the Supreme Court<br />

in the spring of 1935.<br />

No, Senior v. Braden was not, of course, chosen at random. It is, for a<br />

Supreme Court opinion, mercifully short. It involves the Court’s favorite<br />

constitutional springboard, the good old “due process” clause of the Fourteenth<br />

Amendment. It reveals the Court at its most legalistic, its most vacuous, its most<br />

unsubstantial – though for that purpose any one of a thousand cases might have<br />

served equally well.<br />

Furthermore, Senior v. Braden was not a unanimous decision; it was a<br />

six-three decision. But the existence of a dissent in any case involving<br />

“interpretation” of the Constitution has been, for some time now, the rule rather than<br />

the exception. And the dissent, be it remembered, doesn’t count anyway. The<br />

majority opinion is The Law, the gospel – so much so that even the dissenting judges<br />

must accept it, as with Senior v. Braden they have accepted it, when the case is used<br />

as the basis of legal argument in the future.<br />

In short, Senior v. Braden is today an integral and respectable part of The Law<br />

of the Land as set forth by the top craftsmen of the profession. Here, then,<br />

interspersed with an almost literal translation of each paragraph into non-legal<br />

language, and with a few pertinent (or maybe impertinent) comments, is the<br />

Supreme Court’s opinion in Senior v. Braden. Hang on to your hats: --<br />

“January 1, 1932 – tax listing day – section 5328-1, the Ohio General Code<br />

provided that all investments and other intangible property of persons residing<br />

within the state should be subject to taxation. Section 5323 so defined ‘investment’<br />

as to include incorporeal rights of a pecuniary nature from which income is or may<br />

be derived, including equitable interests in lands and rents and royalties divided into<br />

shares evidenced by transferable certificates. Section 5638 imposed upon<br />

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