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A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY 89
fight." " And your fellowship and living, Tufty my boy ?" interposed
my Lord; and then they walked on. After a couple of
minutes, during which Mr. Fitch was employed in examining Mr.
Brandon from the toe upwards to the crown of his head, or hat,
just as Mr. Widdicombe does Mr. Cartlich, before those two gentlemen
proceed to join in combat on the boards of Astley's Amphitheatre
(indeed poor Fitch had no other standard of chivalry)—
when Fitch had concluded this examination, of which Brandon did
not know what the deuce to make, Lord Cinqbars came back to the
painter, and gave him a nod.
" Sir," said he, " as you have come unprovided with a second,
I, with your leave, will act as one. My name is Cinqbars—Lord
Cinqbars; and though I had come to the ground to act as the
friend of my friend here, Mr. Tufthunt will take that duty upon
him ; and as it appears to me there can be no other end to this
unhappy affair, we will proceed at once."
It is a marvel how Lord Cinqbars ever made such a gentlemanly
speech. When Fitch heard that he was to have a lord for a second,
he laid his hand on his chest, and vowed it was the greatest h-honour
of his life ; and was turning round to walk towards his ground,
when my Lord, gracefully thrusting his tongue into his cheek, and
bringing his thumb up to his nose, twiddled about his fingers for a
moment, and said to Brandon, " Gammon !"
Mr. Brandon smiled, and heaved a great, deep, refreshing sigh.
The truth was, a load was taken off his mind, of which he was
very glad to be rid ; for there was something in the coolness of
that crazy painter that our fashionable gentleman did not at all
approve of.
" I think, Mr. Tufthunt," said Lord Cinqbars, very loud, " that
considering the gravity of the case—threatening horse-whipping,
you know, lie on both sides, and lady in the case—I think we must
have the barrier-duel."
" What's that !" asked Fitch.
" The simplest thing in the world ; and," in a whisper, " let me
add, the best for you. Look here. We shall put you at twenty
paces and a hat between you. You walk forward and fire when
you like. When you fire, you stop ; and you both have the
liberty of walking up to the hat. Nothing can be more fair than
that."
" Very well," said Fitch ; and, with a great deal of preparation,
the pistols were loaded.
"I tell you what," whispered Cinqbars to Fitch, "if I hadn't
chosen this way you were a dead man. If he fires he hits you
dead. You must not let him fire, but have him down first."