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A SHABBY GENTEEL STORY 41
kept up. " I am hanged if I stay in the house a night longer,"
added the first-floor sharply, "if that Mr. Fitch kicks up such a
confounded noise !" Mr. Fitch's point was gained, and henceforth
he was as quiet as a mouse ; for his wish was not only to be in
love, but to let everybody know that he was in love, or where is
the use of a belle passion ?
So, whenever he saw Caroline, at meals, or in the passage, he
used to stare at her with the utmost power of his big eyes, and fall
to groaning most pathetically. He used to leave his meals untasted,
groan, heave sighs, and stare incessantly. Mrs. Gann and
her eldest daughters were astonished at these manœuvres ; for they
never suspected that any man could possibly be such a fool as to
fall in love with Caroline. At length the suspicion came upon them,
created immense laughter and delight ; and the ladies did not fail
to rally Caroline in their usual elegant way. Gann, too, loved a
joke (much polite waggery had this worthy man practised in select
inn-parlours for twenty years past), and would call poor Caroline
" Mrs. F. ;" and say that instead of Fetch and Carry, as he used
to name her, he should style her Fitch and Carry for the future ;
and laugh at this great pun, and make many others of a similar
sort, that set Caroline blushing.
Indeed, the girl Buffered a great deal more from this raillery
than at first may be imagined ; for after the first awe inspired by
Fitch's whiskers had passed away, and he had drawn the young
ladies' pictures, and made designs in their albums, and in the midst
of their jokes and conversation had remained perfectly silent, the
Gann family had determined that the man was an idiot : and,
indeed, were not very wide of the mark. In everything except his
own peculiar art honest Fitch was an idiot ; and as upon the subject
of painting, the Ganns, like most people of their class in England,
were profoundly ignorant, it came to pass that he would breakfast
and dine for many days in their company, and not utter one single
syllable. So they looked upon him with extreme pity and contempt,
as a harmless, good-natured, crack-brained creature, quite
below them in the scale of intellect, and only to be endured because
he paid a certain number of shillings weekly to the Gann exchequer.
Mrs. Gann in all companies was accustomed to talk about her idiot.
Neighbours and children used to peer at him as he strutted down
the street ; and though every young lady, including my dear Caroline,
is flattered by having a lover, at least they don't like such a
lover as this. The Misses Macarty (after having set their caps at
him very fiercely, and quarrelled concerning him on his first coming
to lodge at their house) vowed and protested now that he was no
better than a chimpanzee ; and Caroline and Becky agreed that this