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ON HIS WAY THROUGH THE WORLD 221
so much last night that he may have forgot. But I fear he means
mischief, and I came here to say so, and hoping that you might be
kep' on your guard, Doctor F., and if you have to quarrel with him,
I don't know what you ever will do, I am sure—no more than if
you had to fight a chimney-sweep in the street. I have been awake
all night thinking, and as soon as ever I saw the daylight, I determined
I would run and tell you."
"When he called Philip that name, did the boy seem much
disturbed ?" asked the Doctor.
"Yes; he referred to it again and again—though I tried to
coax him out of it. But it was on his mind last night, and I am
sure he will think of it the first tiling this morning. Ah, yes,
Doctor ! conscience will sometimes let a gentleman doze ; but after
discovery has come, and opened your curtains, and said, 'You
desired to be called early !' there's little use in trying to sleep
much. You look very much frightened, Doctor F.," the nurse
continues. " You haven't such a courage as Philip has ; or as you
had when you were a young man, and came a-leading poor girls
astray. You used to be afraid of nothing then. Do you remember
that fellow on board the steamboat in Scotland in our wedding-trip,
and, la! I thought you was going to kill him. That poor little
Lord Cinqbars told me ever so many stories then about your courage
and shooting people. It wasn't very courageous, leaving a poor
girl without even a name, and scarce a guinea, was it ? But I ain't
come to call up old stories—only to warn you. Even in old times,
when he married us, and I thought he was doing a kindness, I never
could abide this horrible man. In Scotland, when you was away
shooting with your poor little lord, the things Hunt used to say and
look was dreadful. I wonder how ever you, who were gentlemen,
could put up with such a fellow ! Ah, that was a sad honeymoon
of ours ! I wonder why I'm a-thinking of it now ? I suppose it's
from having seen the picture of the other one—poor lady !"
" I have told you, Caroline, that I was so wild and desperate
at that unhappy time, I was scarcely accountable for my actions.
If I left you, it was because I had no other resource but flight. I
was a ruined, penniless man, but for my marriage with Ellen Ringwood.
You don't suppose the marriage was happy? Happy!
when have I ever been happy ? My lot is to be wretched, and
bring wretchedness down on those I love ! On you, on my father,
on my wife, on my boy—I am a doomed man. Ah, that the innocent
should suffer for me ! " And our friend looks askance in the
glass, at the blue chin and hollow eyes which make his guilt look
the more haggard.
" I never had my lines," the Little Sister continued ; " I never