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228 THE ADVENTURES OF PHILIP
me for being but a harsh husband to her—with a view of mending
my shattered fortunes. I wished she had been more happy, poor
thing! But do not blame me utterly, Philip. I was desperate,
and she wished for the marriage so much ! I had good looks and
high spirits in those days. People said so." [And here he glances
obliquely at his own handsome portrait.] "Now I am a wreck,
a wreck !"
"I conceive, sir, that this will annoy you; but how can it
ruin you ?" asked Philip.
" What becomes of my practice as a family physician ? The
practice is not now what it was, between ourselves, Philip, and the
expenses greater than you imagine. I have made unlucky speculations.
If you count upon much increase of wealth from me, my
boy, you will be disappointed ; though you were never mercenary,
no, never. But the story bruited about by this rascal, of a
physician of eminence engaged in two marriages, do you suppose
my rivals won't hear it, and take advantage of it—my patients
hear it, and avoid me ?"
" Make terms with the man at once, then, sir, and silence him."
" To make terms with a gambler is impossible. My purse is
always there open for him to thrust his hand into when he loses.
No man can withstand such a temptation. I am glad you have
never fallen into it. I have quarrelled with you sometimes for
living with people below your rank : perhaps you were right, and
I was wrong. I have liked, always did, I don't disguise it, to
live with persons of station. And these, when I was at the
university, taught me play and extravagance; and in the world
haven't helped me much. Who would? Who would ?" and the
Doctor relapsed into meditation.
A little catastrophe presently occurred, after which Mr. Philip
Firmin told me the substance of this story. He described his
father's long acquiescence in Hunt's demands, and sudden resistance
to them, and was at a loss to account for the change. I did not
tell my friend in express terms, but I fancied I could account for
the change of behaviour. Dr. Firmin, in his interviews with
Caroline, had had his mind set at rest about one part of his danger.
The Doctor need no longer fear the charge of a double marriage.
The Little Sister resigned her claims past, present, future.
If a gentleman is sentenced to be hanged, I wonder is it a
matter of comfort to him or not to know beforehand the day of the
operation? Hunt would take his revenge. When and how?
Doctor Firmin asked himself. Nay, possibly, you will have to
learn that this eminent practitioner walked about with more than
danger hanging imminent over him. Perhaps it was a rope : perhaps