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538 THE ADVENTURES OF PHILIP
the task have been honestly done when the night comes ; and the
steward deal kindly with the labourer.
So two of Philip's cables cracked and gave way after a very
brief strain, and the poor fellow held by nothing now but that wonderful
European Review established by the mysterious Tregarvan.
Actors, a people of superstitions and traditions, opine that Heaven,
in some mysterious way, makes managers for their benefit. In like
manner, Review proprietors are sent to provide the pabulum for us
men of letters. With what complacency did my wife listen to the
somewhat long-winded and pompous oratory of Tregarvan! He
pompous and commonplace ? Tregarvan spoke with excellent good
sense. That wily woman never showed she was tired of his conversation.
She praised him to Philip behind his back, and would
not allow a word in his disparagement. As a doctor will punch
your chest, your liver, your heart, listen at your lungs, squeeze
your pulse, and what not, so this practitioner studied, shampooed,
auscultated Tregarvan. Of course, he allowed himself to be operated
upon. Of course, he had no idea that the lady was flattering,
wheedling, humbugging him ; but thought that he was a very wellinformed
eloquent man, who had seen and read a great deal, and
had an agreeable method of imparting his knowledge, and that the
lady in question was a sensible woman, naturally eager for more
information. Go, Delilah ! I understand your tricks ! I know
many another Omphale in London, who will coax Hercules away
from his club, to come and listen to her wheedling talk.
One great difficulty we had was to make Philip read Tregarvan's
own articles in the Review, He at first said he could not, or that
he could not remember them ; so that there was no use in reading
them. And Philip's new master used to make artful allusions to his
own writings in the course of conversation, so that our unwary friend
would find himself under examination in any casual interview with
Tregarvan, whose opinions on free-trade, malt-tax, income-tax, designs
of Russia, or what not, might be accepted or denied, but ought at
least to be known. We actually made Philip get up his owner's articles.
We put questions to him, privily, regarding them—" coached " him,
according to the University phrase. My wife humbugged that
wretched Member of Parliament in a way which makes me shudder,
when I think of what hypocrisy the sex is capable. Those arts
and dissimulations with which she wheedles others, suppose she
exercise them on me ? Horrible thought ! No, angel ! To others
thou mayest be a coaxing hypocrite ; to me thou art all candour.
Other men may have been humbugged by other women ; but I am
not to be taken in by that sort of thing ; and thou art all candour !
We had then so much per annum as editor. We were paid,