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y Addison DeWitt
Speaking
of strippers ... former weeniewagger
David Hernandez
(and that’s with a capital “O”) on my
“Icky Nasty Caca Poo-Poo List.” And
that’s one list you don’t wanna be on,
believe-you-me. Seems that the 2008
American Idol reject is too big for his
britches these days. I got a very chilly
reception from la Hernandez after
I offered him a friendly
salutation at Phoenix
Pride. Scant days
later, his nose was
up in the air once
again when I
saw him at the
“Night for Life”
event where
he was touted
as a “Singer,
Songwriter, and
Actor.” Actor? Huh?
Starring in your high
school production of The
Fantasticks doesn’t count.
After crooning in the banquet hall lobby
to an audience of – count ‘em – four
tweens at the fundraiser, the snooty
songbird hightailed it out of the Biltmore
and spent a raucous night on the
town later where he was seen making
out with a variety of local swains and
desperadoes.
From where I sit, it seems to me that
someone who hopes to make it to the
proverbial Big Time ought to be nice to
people. He sure was a lot friendlier back
in the good ol’ days when he sat naked
on my accommodating lap at Dick’s
– all for the price of a dollar and
a salted peanut. And just for that I’m defriending
you on Facebook and throwing
away your Christmas CD. So there. I bet
that never acts like that.
So there. Big International Symbol for
‘NO’ to David Hernandez. So there.
Word on the street is that a fabulous
new restaurant and bar for the glitterati,
gadabouts and nabobs in town, slated
to open near the heart of downtown and
the Light Rail by someone near and
dear to ION’s heart and a familiar (and
very handsome) face on top of
a bangin’ body that just won’t
quit at Amsterdam. As of
press time he’s keeping
mum on the particulars,
but I’m on the edge of my
bidet with anticipation!
We’ll know more by
mid-month, I’m
told.
And this month’s
Party Penguin of
the Month is just
too much to touch!
I’m shocked and surprised he hasn’t
been picked before. It’s as obvious as
the Spanx on my ass! It’s none other
than Jonathan James Berry! This
gorgeous guy’s at every Splash Bash
and at practically at every bar’s event.
Sometimes he’s in boy drag. Once in
a while he’s in mommy’s clothes. If
you’re mommy dresses like Lady Gaga,
that is. He’s a gender-bending blast
and we love him! Or her. Depending.
Congratulations!
Invite Addison to your pool party this
summer! Just don’t play your David
Hernandez CDs, chew gum while you’re
stripping or hold him underwater in the
deep end.
Write to him at rumorhound@aol.com
96 WWW.IONAZ.COM June 2010 June 2010 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97