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Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Mama told you there’d be days like this. And
sometimes there’s an entire month. But keep
a stiff upper lip. Mid-month things will turn a
Then go shopping.
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
The thermometer is rising ... and so is your
PAQ. Public Attention Quotient. Everybody
wants to be in your orbit this month. And a
lot of people want to touch you. The planets
agree: you got it goin’ on.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Pull all the stops out! You’re a schizo,
Gemini! Let both of your twin personalities
go to work and you’ll have one Pisces, three
Aquarians and at least four Leos vying for at
least one Twin’s attention.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
You know the old expression, “It’s time to
pay the piper”? It’s time to settle a debt that
you welshed on with an friend. It may be
monetary, or it may be spiritual. Do the right
thing. You won’t be so “crabby” if you do it by
the 20th. And smile!
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
It’s time to show everybody that you are King
– or Queen – of the Forest, Lion. With a royal
growl and your Type A personality you’ll be
the leader of the pack. Or the pride, as the
case may be. Grrr! Go get ‘em!
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Tan? Check. Cute strappy sandals? Check.
Swimsuit? Check. Haircut? Check. Sex
appeal? Double-check! Summer will be good
to you, Virgo! Just make sure you’ve got
fresh breath, too, or else those condoms and
lube will be no good at all.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Sometimes you just have to say, “Screw it”
and eat ten candy bars in a row. The stars
won’t blame you. This month. But don’t
make a habit of it. But if you share a couple
something in common. Besides candy bars.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
The stars are in alignment. The planets say,
“All systems go!” Just be sure you have your
seatbelts on and look out for cops. It’s always
better to err on the side of caution. Now you
can hit the gas, baby.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
You’re the apple of somebody’s eye out there.
If you’re a little tart, they may go looking for
a Red Delicious. Act a little fruity. People
expect it from you. Especially Geminis. They
eat that shit up.
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Think about starting a new hobby.
Remember: stalking is not a hobby. Subtlety
has never been one of your strong suits.
pretty eyes, after all.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
Too many cooks spoil the broth. So you might
want to get rid of one or two or you’ll have a
“Kitchen Nightmare.” In your bedroom. Let
the sous chef know he’s tops. Or bottoms. It
doesn’t really matter with you.
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Picky, picky, picky. This month you need to
open your horizons. And lengthen your vistas
while you’re at it. If you rise up high enough,
you’ll be able to see the curve of the earth,
even! Or at least Russia from your backyard.
98 WWW.IONAZ.COM June 2010
June 2010 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99