catch him in flagrante and thus be able to add to the disciplinary procedure which was doubtless already under way the incriminating, unanswerable piece of evidence that was still lacking When Senhor José finally reached the street his legs were trembling, sweat was dripping from his brow, Honestly, I'm a bundle of nerves he said to himself angrily. <strong>The</strong>n, absurdly, as if his brain had suddenly run out of control and gone shooting off in all directions as if time had collapsed everything, backwards and forwards compressing everything into one compact moment, he thought that the child whom he had heard crying behind the door was, thirty-six years before, the unknown woman, that he himself was a boy of fourteen with no reason to go looking for anyone, much less at that time of night. Standing on the pavement, he looked at the street as if he had never seen it before, thirty-six years ago the street lamps shone more dimly, the road wasn't tarmacked, it was cobbled, the sign over the corner shop said it was a shoe shop, not a fast-food place. Time moved, began to expand slowly, then faster, it seemed to buck violently, as if it were inside an egg struggling to get out, the roads succeeded one another, became superimposed, the buildings appeared and disappeared, they changed colour, shape, everything was jockeying anxiously for position before the light of day came to change it all back. Time started counting the days from the very beginning, using a multiplication table to make up for the delay, and it did this so accurately that Senhor José was once again fifty years old when he reached home. As for the tearful child, it was only an hour older, which just goes to show that even though the clock would like to convince US otherwise, time is not the same for everyone. Senhor José had yet another difficult night to add to other recent nights that had been no better. Meanwhile, despite the intense emotions experienced during his brief nocturnal excursion, he had just pulled the top part of the sheet over his ears, as was his custom, and had already fallen into a sleep which, at first glance, any other person would have described as deep and restful, when he was jerked into wakefulness again, as if some disrespectful, inconsiderate person had shaken him by the shoulder. He was woken by an unexpected idea that erupted into the middle of his sleep in such a devastating fashion that there wasn't even time for a dream to become woven about it, the idea that perhaps the unknown woman, the one on the card, was in fact the woman he had heard rocking the child, the one with the impatient husband, in which case his search would have ended, foolishly, at the very point when it should begin. His throat tightened with sudden anxiety, while his beleaguered reason tried to resist, it wanted him not to care, to say, Just as well really, that'll mean less work for me to do, but the anxiety would not let go, it continued to tighten and tighten its grip, and now it was his anxiety asking his reason, What's he going to do if he can't carry out this plan of his, He'll do what he always did, he'll collect newspaper clippings, photographs, news items, interviews, as if nothing had happened, Poor thing, I don't think he'll be able to, Why not, Because anxiety, when it comes, isn't that easy to get rid of, He could choose another record card and go in search of that person instead, Chance doesn't choose, it proposes, it was chance that brought him the unknown woman, and only chance has any say in these matters, <strong>The</strong>re's no shortage of strangers in the files, But he has no reason to choose one rather than another, one in particular, and not just one of many, It doesn't seem a very good rule in life to let yourself be guided by chance, Regardless of whether it's a good rule or not, whether it's convenient or not, it was chance that put that card in his hands, And what if that woman is the same one, If she is, then that was what chance offered, With no further consequences, Who are we to speak of consequences, when out of the interminable line of consequences that come marching ceaselessly towards us we can only ever distinguish the first, Does that mean something could still happen, Not just something, everything, I don't understand, It's only because we live so sunk in ourselves that we don't notice that what is actually happening to us leaves intact, at every moment, what might happen to us, Does that mean that what might happen is constandy being regenerated, It's not only being regenerated, it's multiplying, you just have to compare the events of two consecutive days, I never thought of it like that, <strong>The</strong>se are things known only to the angst-ridden. As if this conversation had nothing to do with him, Senhor José tossed and turned in bed unable to get
ack to sleep, If she is the woman on the card, he repeated, if, after all this, she is the same woman, I'll tear up that wretched card and think no more about it. He knew he was merely trying to disguise his disappointment, he knew that he could not bear to return to his usual gestures and thoughts, it was as if he had been on the point of setting off to discover a mysterious island and, at the last moment, with his foot already on the gangplank, someone had come up to him holding an outspread map, <strong>The</strong>re's no point in your going now, the unknown island you wanted to find is here, look, on latitude so-and-so, longitude such and such, it's got ports and cities, mountains and rivers, all with their names and histories, you'd better just resign yourself to being who you are. But Senhor José did not want to resign himself, he continued to stare out at the horizon that appeared to be lost, and suddenly, as if a black cloud had lifted and allowed the sun to shine through, he realised that the idea which had woken him was misleading, he remembered that there were two entries on the card, one for marriage, the other for divorce, and the woman in that apartment was certainly married, if it was the same woman, there should be another entry on the card for a second marriage, of course, the Central Registry did sometimes make mistakes, but Senhor José preferred not to think about that.
- Page 3 and 4: ALL THE NAMES
- Page 5 and 6: You know the name you were given, y
- Page 7 and 8: eing born, are far less pressing, a
- Page 9 and 10: ... Apart from his first name, Jos
- Page 11 and 12: Now, since Senhor José's obsession
- Page 13 and 14: ... Fortunately, there are not that
- Page 15 and 16: and that he, as a responsible civil
- Page 17 and 18: night's sleep, That's what I hope t
- Page 19: hour of the night, What time was it
- Page 23 and 24: and I've heard people say that she'
- Page 25 and 26: inside jacket pocket, Senhor José
- Page 27 and 28: love each other, you. love each oth
- Page 29 and 30: ... Such was the force of this blow
- Page 31 and 32: it, Oh, enough of your hypocrisy, w
- Page 33 and 34: ... Contrary to what people might t
- Page 35 and 36: his jacket pocket, he had been walk
- Page 37 and 38: José was breathing hard, amazed at
- Page 39 and 40: ... Respect for the facts, and a si
- Page 41 and 42: Senhor José's heart leapt to see t
- Page 43 and 44: left the first-aid room, and althou
- Page 45 and 46: himself up that staircase like a li
- Page 47 and 48: ... The next morning, almost as soo
- Page 49 and 50: were a gift, carrying a photo of so
- Page 51 and 52: noticed the other man's surprise as
- Page 53 and 54: firm steps approached the bed, then
- Page 55 and 56: emained lying down for a few more m
- Page 57 and 58: of which the deputy's key was merel
- Page 59 and 60: sitting, he wasn't expecting him to
- Page 61 and 62: thirteen small cardboard rectangles
- Page 63 and 64: complete the movement, a sudden fee
- Page 65 and 66: ed, hid the letter in the wardrobe,
- Page 67 and 68: ... That night, Senhor José return
- Page 69 and 70: to create its own shadows, what Sen
- Page 71 and 72:
prison, and over there, at the far
- Page 73 and 74:
... The fact that psychological tim
- Page 75 and 76:
hold-up in the traffic was preventi
- Page 77 and 78:
feeble old woman, cretin, nincompoo
- Page 79 and 80:
the battles begin between heirs, th
- Page 81 and 82:
esponse, and she was perfectly righ
- Page 83 and 84:
aware of society's need for a conti
- Page 85 and 86:
ages, return to the world from whic
- Page 87 and 88:
to sell off strips of land, at othe
- Page 89 and 90:
Since he was known to the people th
- Page 91 and 92:
tombstones and forced up into the s
- Page 93 and 94:
question was in which direction. Se
- Page 95 and 96:
of earth which will soon be overgro
- Page 97 and 98:
that's sacred, Mr. Clerk, at least
- Page 99 and 100:
... Determined to catch up on his l
- Page 101 and 102:
carefully, Go on, In order to clear
- Page 103 and 104:
a woman who looked about sixty or s
- Page 105 and 106:
... Senhor José slept like a log.
- Page 107 and 108:
the headmaster, I didn't know that
- Page 109 and 110:
clerk can only do so much. With the
- Page 111 and 112:
driver announced, Here we are, Senh
- Page 114 and 115:
Reading Group Guide 1. How do the C