Fall 2011 - The University of Scranton

Untitled II
Marie Barry & Alexander Daly
Dodger, the Artful Robot, leaned his metal forehead against the
cold plate glass of the West building apartment window and looked out at
Monroe Street. His processors whirred, accessing the Monroe Doctrine
from his memory banks. The Monroe Doctrine, which kept European
robots from entering the United States. It kept him from saving his brother
robot, whose broken circuitry was interred under the asphalt of Monroe.
The Artful Robot took a last drag on his cigarette before stubbing it out on
the window. It was time to meet the others. He swung his trenchcoat over
his shoulders and stepped out of the apartment, heading to the library.
* * *
Sitting in the desolate Pro Deo Room, Dodger, the Artful Robot,
addressed the crew of rejects who had answered his call to arms. Hipster A
cleaned her glasses on her scarf, then paused the Phoenix song playing on
her Zune. Sweet Elk chomped on some grass he had brought from outside
to satiate the hunger with which his author had imbued him. But it hardly
compared to the taste of human brains. Jack leaned back on the couch, his
feet up on the coffee table. His author had written Jack as a blank canvas: a
pitiful attempt at a self-insert character for a woefully bad fanfic.
Dodger, the Artful Robot, cleared his throat with a crunching
of differential gears. “I had hoped more of you would have shown up. I
thought more characters were rejected from that magazine.”
Hipster A flipped through the 2011 copy of Esprit and peered at
the Artful Robot over her glasses. “There’s hardly any characters like us in
here. All first person narratives and poems.”
“Don’t forget the pictures,” Jack said. “I much rather would have
been a drawing instead of a fanfic.” The others turned to peer at Jack, but
they could hardly see him due to his vague characterization. “I am Jack’s
literary references,” he said to them.
“I wrote a piece on that movie before it became a cult classic,”
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