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<strong>St</strong> <strong>Francis</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> Vol 8, No 4 | August 2012<br />
could occupy position “C” quite successfully, oscillating between<br />
Muslim and Christian social identities while never combining <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
However time marches on, and for all <strong>the</strong>se single converts (nearly<br />
all male in my sample, and one female), <strong>the</strong> question of marriage<br />
eventually loomed. At this point <strong>the</strong>y were typically torn between<br />
<strong>the</strong>ir own desire to marry a believer and <strong>the</strong>ir parents’ wish to marry<br />
<strong>the</strong>m to a Muslim relative.<br />
What would <strong>the</strong>y decide about this critical question They could<br />
not sit on <strong>the</strong> fence forever, in position “C”. Marrying a Christian<br />
would place <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong>reafter in position “B” and most of <strong>the</strong>ir social<br />
contact would be with Christians. Conversely, to marry a Muslim<br />
would bring <strong>the</strong>m back into position “A” and <strong>the</strong>ir social identity<br />
would be with Muslims.<br />
In Islampur, after marriage most of people’s socializing takes<br />
place among <strong>the</strong>ir relatives. Henceforth <strong>the</strong>y will attend social occasions,<br />
celebrate festivals and help financially members of <strong>the</strong> family<br />
<strong>the</strong>y have married into, whe<strong>the</strong>r Muslim on <strong>the</strong> one hand or Christian<br />
on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r.<br />
However, although marriage determined interviewees’ main social<br />
circle it did not necessarily preclude all contact with <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r circle<br />
on a permanent basis. Abdallah was one of those. His Muslim parents<br />
refused to attend his wedding to a Christian, or to meet her for<br />
ano<strong>the</strong>r seven or eight years. He said<br />
There was some danger, I thought, that <strong>the</strong>y might give her poison…They<br />
accepted me but I wasn’t sure about <strong>the</strong>ir accepting her.<br />
Eventually however his parents came to visit, drawn (as often in<br />
such cases) by <strong>the</strong>ir longing to see <strong>the</strong>ir grandchildren.<br />
Khadim too married a Christian, but although his parents did not<br />
attend his wedding, <strong>the</strong>y came to visit just a few weeks later, bearing<br />
gifts. He and his wife are totally uncompromising in <strong>the</strong>ir Christian<br />
stance, but <strong>the</strong>y continue in social contact with his relatives. ‘They<br />
come to me, and I go to <strong>the</strong>m with my children.’<br />
Yusuf, on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand, married a Muslim. He is in position “A”<br />
and his social interaction is now mostly with his Muslim relatives<br />
<strong>St</strong> <strong>Francis</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> is a publication of Interserve and Arab Vision 559