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<strong>St</strong> <strong>Francis</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> Vol 8, No 4 | August 2012<br />

could occupy position “C” quite successfully, oscillating between<br />

Muslim and Christian social identities while never combining <strong>the</strong>m.<br />

However time marches on, and for all <strong>the</strong>se single converts (nearly<br />

all male in my sample, and one female), <strong>the</strong> question of marriage<br />

eventually loomed. At this point <strong>the</strong>y were typically torn between<br />

<strong>the</strong>ir own desire to marry a believer and <strong>the</strong>ir parents’ wish to marry<br />

<strong>the</strong>m to a Muslim relative.<br />

What would <strong>the</strong>y decide about this critical question They could<br />

not sit on <strong>the</strong> fence forever, in position “C”. Marrying a Christian<br />

would place <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong>reafter in position “B” and most of <strong>the</strong>ir social<br />

contact would be with Christians. Conversely, to marry a Muslim<br />

would bring <strong>the</strong>m back into position “A” and <strong>the</strong>ir social identity<br />

would be with Muslims.<br />

In Islampur, after marriage most of people’s socializing takes<br />

place among <strong>the</strong>ir relatives. Henceforth <strong>the</strong>y will attend social occasions,<br />

celebrate festivals and help financially members of <strong>the</strong> family<br />

<strong>the</strong>y have married into, whe<strong>the</strong>r Muslim on <strong>the</strong> one hand or Christian<br />

on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r.<br />

However, although marriage determined interviewees’ main social<br />

circle it did not necessarily preclude all contact with <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r circle<br />

on a permanent basis. Abdallah was one of those. His Muslim parents<br />

refused to attend his wedding to a Christian, or to meet her for<br />

ano<strong>the</strong>r seven or eight years. He said<br />

There was some danger, I thought, that <strong>the</strong>y might give her poison…They<br />

accepted me but I wasn’t sure about <strong>the</strong>ir accepting her.<br />

Eventually however his parents came to visit, drawn (as often in<br />

such cases) by <strong>the</strong>ir longing to see <strong>the</strong>ir grandchildren.<br />

Khadim too married a Christian, but although his parents did not<br />

attend his wedding, <strong>the</strong>y came to visit just a few weeks later, bearing<br />

gifts. He and his wife are totally uncompromising in <strong>the</strong>ir Christian<br />

stance, but <strong>the</strong>y continue in social contact with his relatives. ‘They<br />

come to me, and I go to <strong>the</strong>m with my children.’<br />

Yusuf, on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand, married a Muslim. He is in position “A”<br />

and his social interaction is now mostly with his Muslim relatives<br />

<strong>St</strong> <strong>Francis</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> is a publication of Interserve and Arab Vision 559

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