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It’s been said that success is getting what you want, but
happiness is wanting what you get. Or to put it another
way: perspective, next to money, is the easiest thing
to lose.
So, by all means, seek to increase your charisma. Try
to become the most effective person you can be. Work at
making a good first impression and projecting a positive
image-but also try to retain self-awareness.
Look around you; think how you appear to others; be
alert to the impression you’re creating, or trying to create.
If you try too hard to impress, or make a big to-do of the
grand gesture, or come on too strong or too insensitively,
you’ll often end up creating a negative impression.
The best impression and the surest way to charisma
often just means putting others first. It’s been reported
that one New York cab driver, for example, makes
$30,000 more a year in tips alone than other cabbies.
Why Because he offers passengers a choice of several
newspapers, cold drinks, or fresh fruit. He asks them what
kind of music they’d prefer, and otherwise does his best
to make his customers comfortable. In hectic, brusque
Manhattan, his small acts of decency make him stand out.
Thus, folks with the most effective images often are those
who are the least obtrusive about it. In fact, sometimes it’s
a simple act or gesture of courtesy-like announcing your
first and last name when you see someone who may possibly
have forgotten them-that burnishes your image, that
really sets you pleasantly apart. Or maybe it’s a short note
of thanks for some favor. Or saying something nice and
genuine about someone in front of his or her boss.
If never made, these gestures probably wouldn’t be
missed; that’s why they’re so obvious when you make
them. In other words, being a genuinely good person, who
cares about others and who does things because they are
the right things to do, may be the ultimate key to increasing
your personal magnetism, or charisma.
Always do right because, as Mark Twain said, that will
gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Dr. Tony Alessandra, CSP, CPAE has authored 13 books,
recorded over 50 audio and video programs, and delivered
over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976. This article has
been adapted from Dr. Alessandra’s book, Charisma
(Warner books, 1998. Dr. Tony Alessandra is recognized
by Meetings and Conventions Magazine as... “one of
America’s most electrifying speakers.” Copyright© 2003,
Tony Alessandra. All rights reserved. For information
about Tony’s keynote presentations, contact the Frog Pond
at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com;
http://www.frogpond.com
16 ExecutiveAgent Magazine