Little eyes, little ears - Agence de la sante publique du Canada

little eyes,little earsCoping and survival strategiesof young people 2, 3When facing a difficult situation,children and teenagers findways to “cope”They come to an understanding (possibly distorted)about what is happening and deal with the flood ofhurtful emotions. Their strategies can involvefeelings (emotional), thoughts (cognitive),or actions (behavioural).Some strategies may be helpfulin the moment but are costlyin the long run• copingstrategies help a child get through a timeof stress or crisis, such as when there is womanabuse at home• however,if used as a general response to othercircumstances, these strategies may createproblems in the long run• thelonger a costly strategy is used, or the moreeffective it is in shielding a youth from overwhelmingemotions and hurt, the harder it may be to modifyor extinguishYoung children have limited coping strategiesand need adults to buffer them from theharmful consequences of stress and adversities.The following are coping strategies you may see inchildren and teenagers living with woman abuse and childmaltreatment. Remember that coping styles vary with ageand that some of these strategies can be triggered byother adversities such as severe marital conflict andparental substance abuse.Mental blocking or disconnecting emotionallynumbing emotions or blocking thoughts• tuning out the noise or chaos, learning not to hear it,being obliviousconcentrating hard to believe they are somewhere else• drinking alcohol or using drugsMaking it better through fantasy• planning revenge on the abuser, fantasizing aboutkilling him• fantasizing about a happier life, living with a differentfamily or a kind father• fantasizing about life after a divorce or after theabuser leavesfantasizing about abuser being “hit by a bus”• hoping to be rescued, by super heroes or policeor “Prince Charming”Physical avoidance• going into another room, leaving the houseduring a violent episodefinding excuses to avoid going home• running away from home24