Little eyes, little ears - Agence de la sante publique du Canada

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$FICHE D'INFORMATION\ Mettre fin Ã la violence faite aux femmes$

little eyes,little earsHow to helpOur helping can take many forms...counselling (individual, group or family), legal andpractical advocacy with mothers, and educationalapproaches.Symptom-specific interventionsSome approaches address the struggles and difficultieschildren manifest. For example, Project Support helpswomen whose children have conduct disorder. 20 Manyapproaches are well supported for use with child andadolescent depression. 1Violence-specific interventionsTechniques used with children include individual childcentredtherapy, 18 child-parent psychotherapy, 21 traumafocussedcognitive behavioural therapy, 7 play therapy,healing of the mother/child bond, 6 and many differentpsycho-educational group programs. Because mostchildren living with woman abuse experience other types ofabuse, techniques validated for child abuse may also help. 7Issues potentially addressedby interventions with childrenand teenagerstrauma symptoms or traumatic grief symptoms• distorted thoughts about abuse (e.g., self-blame,victim blaming, and shame)• management of intense emotions, such asanger or anxietystress management and relaxation techniquesmodifying or extinguishing costly coping strategiesbuilding constructive problem-solving skills• improving self-confidence and perceived capacityfor self-protectionBe aware of how “safety planning” canbe experienced by a child who alreadyfeels the world is dangerous andunpredictable.-In addition to helping womenwith their own healing, theseareas can be helpful• positive parenting practices such as non-physicaldisciplineparent/child communication skills• parenting skills designed for children who livedwith violence• modellingof constructive problem solving andmanagement of emotionsIssues to work on with mothersand children together• mapping out expectations for healthy (non-violent)family relationships• strengthening healthy communication and practisingproblem-solvingestablishing safe ways to talk together about the pastworking to heal and move forward as a family• identifying activities and engaging in family “fun”Healing the father/child bond in a healthy waythat holds abusive men accountable is a difficultbut worthwhile goal in the appropriate circumstances.30
how violence against a mother shapes children as they growSome points to keep in mindResearch on this topic generally suffers frommethodological limitations, but the best evidence nowavailable suggests interventions be individualized andlogically derived from an understanding of each child'sunique situation. 8Begin with a thorough trauma assessmentWoman abuse varies greatly in the forms it takes and invariables such as duration, severity, frequency, and harmcaused. Most children who lived with severe woman abusehave experienced direct maltreatment and other traumasas well. Exposure to more than one adversity or traumaelevates concern.Look for how a child's problems are manifestedSometimes a violence-specific intervention is the bestcourse of action while sometimes a symptom-specificintervention is dictated. Determine which patterns ofbehaviours, emotions or thoughts are concerning tocaregivers and teachers. That information can be aguide to intervention planning and case management.Timing is importantYou can do the right thing for the right child at the wrongtime. Ask yourself if this is the time to intervene with thischild using a violence-specific intervention or if otherissues must be addressed first.Think developmentallyHow individuals remember and are affected by traumaticevents depends in part upon their age at the time. Also,coping styles vary with age. Children, teens (and alsoadults) may remember past events through the eyes ofthe age they were at the time. However, they may judgethemselves using today's expectations of themselves(e.g., “why didn't I just run away?”) Some traumas inearly life (e.g., child sexual abuse) may re-emerge asissues in later stages, like when beginning to date.Exposure to adversities over severaldevelopmental stages will be more detrimentalbecause negative effects can accumulate.Use collaborative approachesOur well-meaning efforts to help sometimes reinforce thedisempowerment of women and children. We should worktogether to support women as mothers without penalizingthem for the behaviour and choices of an ex-partner.31
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Page 44: References cited1. Linda Baker & Ly

Little eyes, little ears - Agence de la sante publique du Canada

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