Der Fuehrer - Hitler's Rise to Power (1944) - Heiden

380 DER FUEHRERities, renouncing the joys of family life. It is true that Hitler does notsmoke or drink, but he does consume immense quantities of sweets; asthough he had remained a child in matters of taste and pleasure. Heindulges in every pleasure that might appeal to a child; he goes outdriving when the mood takes him; abandons all duties and spends halfthe day at the movies whenever he happens to feel like it; he can neverget his fill of light music and operettas — nor of Wagner's sweet poison,for that matter. According to Goebbels, he has attended TheMeistersingers more than a hundred times. It was probably Wagner'ssermon which finally induced him to give up meat-eating, which did notgreatly appeal to his taste to begin with. One of the greatest childhoodpleasures, staying up late at night, became in time an ingrained habit;even as a young man, even as a soldier, he had difficulty finding sleep,which is one of the strongest elements of human routine and hence inviolent opposition to Hitler's undisciplined character. He lies awakewhole nights, pondering problems, turning them over and over hundredsof times; from this sleepless pondering, often after weeks of silence andaloofness, arise those so-called lightning decisions which surprise thoseblessed with better sleep. And then he speaks of his inspiration orintuition! The only element of truth in this is that he usually follows thedictates of his mood, seldom forcing himself to act against the voice ofhis inclination. This is not lack of energy; he can endure the mostastounding physical and emotional exertions with the insensibility of aSimeon Stylites. But even when — as occurs from time to time — heworks resdessly, it is with the restlessness of a playing child.And so, though he is the real source of energy in his cause and hisenterprise, his incalculability is a serious obstacle to regular business.Things must be done and the responsibility for getting them done lies onthe shoulders of such men as Goebbels; for Hitler only does the thingsthat he happens to feel like doing. He does them with the greatestexpenditure of force, but often he cannot find the extra ounce ofstrength to do what is uncomfortable, to decide what is doubtful, tomake a difficult decision; for at the bottom of his heart he trusts that adifficulty will be canceled out by a second difficulty. When a memberof his staff presses him for some