Der Fuehrer - Hitler's Rise to Power (1944) - Heiden

82 DER FUEHRERFor while the list of those proposed for the 'Cross' was being discussed,four company commanders came into the tent, or dugout. Due to lack ofspace, the four of us had to step out. We hadn't been outside for fiveminutes when a grenade struck the tent, gravely wounded Lieutenant-Colonel Engelhardt and killed or wounded all the rest of the staff. It wasthe most terrible moment of my life. We worshipped Lieutenant-Colonel Engelhardt.I am sorry, I have to close now. . . . Day after day we are under theheaviest artillery fire from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon.In time, that shatters even the strongest nerves. I often think of Munich,and every man of us has the single wish that the gang out here will soonhave their hash settled once and for all. We want an all-out fight, at anycost, and we hope that those of us who have the good fortune to seetheir homeland again will find it purer and more purified of foreignism.That through the sacrifices and sufferings which hundreds of us gothrough every day, that through the stream of blood that flows here dayafter day against an international world of enemies, not only Germany'senemies abroad will be crushed, but that our internal internationalismwill also be broken. That would be worth more than any territorialgains. With Austria it will come as I have always said.Again I express my heartfelt thanks and remain your most devotedand gratefulADOLF HITLER.This is the letter of an impassioned warrior. In it there is not theslightest soft spot. He sees only the enemy whom he hates, and strikesdown in a true frenzy. He is brave and attaches no value to his life, ashis regimental commander later attested. But there is also, clearlyexpressed, the belief that he owes his own life to a miracle or rather to achain of miracles; that the bursting shells spared him, time and again;that, while three quarters of his regiment were sacrificed, he reallyenjoyed the special protection of Providence.In March, 1932, Hitler brought a lawsuit in the Hamburg provincialcourt, as plaintiff against a newspaper which had accused him ofcowardice as a soldier. His attorney submitted a number of writtenaffidavits, attesting the contrary. Lieutenant-Colonel Engelhardt,mentioned in Hitler's letter, wrote: