monastic INSIGHTBBeloved Thay,Fragranceof TeaFlowersBy Sister Dang Nghiem<strong>The</strong> dormi<strong>to</strong>ry build<strong>in</strong>g at Prajna TempleBefore she became a nun, Sister Dang Nghiem was a physician <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>United States. She has been at Prajna Temple (Bat Nha) near BaoLoc s<strong>in</strong>ce September and she wrote this letter <strong>to</strong> Thay on December12, 2005.I have wanted <strong>to</strong> write <strong>to</strong> you several times. However, <strong>the</strong>personal time that I have is extremely limited, and when I actuallyhave some, <strong>the</strong> electricity is out for power conservation.I am very happy here at Prajna Temple. I keep prais<strong>in</strong>g quietly,“<strong>The</strong> dharma is truly deep and lovely!”<strong>The</strong> first night when I arrived <strong>in</strong> Prajna, at <strong>the</strong> Sisters’ Hamlet,Red Fireplace Hamlet, <strong>the</strong> monastery was <strong>in</strong> <strong>to</strong>tal silence. I wasvery surprised, because I had been <strong>in</strong>formed that 170 people were<strong>the</strong>re. Once I came <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> room, so many sisters s<strong>to</strong>pped by <strong>to</strong>greet me and we had a joyful moment.How Many Share a Room?After a while, I bowed deeply and smiled <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> bright andfriendly faces <strong>in</strong> sign of farewell, but I was surprised <strong>to</strong> see that<strong>the</strong>re were still many sisters stand<strong>in</strong>g around my newly assignedbed. So I said <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>m, “Dear sisters, please return <strong>to</strong> your room<strong>to</strong> rest. I probably need <strong>to</strong> rest, <strong>to</strong>o.” Do you know what <strong>the</strong>ir replywas? “Elder sister, we all live <strong>in</strong> this room!!!” Sixteen people live<strong>in</strong> a room five meters by five meters, which <strong>in</strong>cludes an <strong>in</strong>doorrestroom with one <strong>to</strong>ilet, a s<strong>in</strong>k, and a showerhead. This restroomis divided <strong>in</strong><strong>to</strong> three sections by two curta<strong>in</strong>s, so that one personcan use <strong>the</strong> <strong>to</strong>ilet, one <strong>to</strong> three people can use <strong>the</strong> s<strong>in</strong>k, and oneperson can shower or wash clo<strong>the</strong>s, simultaneously.When I climbed on<strong>to</strong> my upper bunk bed for <strong>the</strong> first time,I hung my weight on it as I had often done <strong>in</strong> my dormi<strong>to</strong>ry <strong>in</strong>college. Unexpectedly, <strong>the</strong> whole bed tipped <strong>to</strong>wards me, and Ijumped down quickly <strong>to</strong> catch <strong>the</strong> bed. I have enough experienceby now, and I can climb on<strong>to</strong> it skillfully like a cat.Tak<strong>in</strong>g Refuge <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> Three JewelsEvery morn<strong>in</strong>g I wake up at three <strong>to</strong> do my <strong>to</strong>ilet, <strong>to</strong> avoidwait<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> l<strong>in</strong>e. <strong>The</strong>n I come out <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> balcony <strong>to</strong> enjoy sipp<strong>in</strong>ghalf a liter of warm water, before I do yoga. <strong>The</strong> w<strong>in</strong>d blows wildly,howl<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> waves. <strong>The</strong> stream and waterfalls flow cont<strong>in</strong>uouslyand forcefully nearby. I do <strong>the</strong> exercise Sun Salutation and <strong>the</strong>headstand pose, as I quietly recite <strong>the</strong> Three Refuges. Howevertired I may feel some morn<strong>in</strong>gs, I still strive <strong>to</strong> wake up early <strong>to</strong>do yoga, and I also run <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> even<strong>in</strong>gs. I am aware that for me<strong>to</strong> cont<strong>in</strong>ue on this life-long path of practice, I must take goodcare of this body. My heart is filled with joy and gratitude <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>Three Jewels for giv<strong>in</strong>g me enough strength, faith, and every opportunity<strong>to</strong> practice.A small bell is <strong>in</strong>vited at 4:00 a.m. <strong>to</strong> wake up <strong>the</strong> Sangha. <strong>The</strong>Great Temple Bell is also <strong>in</strong>vited at that time. <strong>The</strong> sounds of <strong>the</strong>Great Bell and <strong>the</strong> chants reverberate throughout <strong>the</strong> mounta<strong>in</strong>s.Local people also take <strong>the</strong>se sounds <strong>to</strong> wake up and prepare for<strong>the</strong> new day. At 4:20 a.m., <strong>the</strong> activity bell is <strong>in</strong>vited <strong>to</strong> announceexercise time. Everyone quietly does walk<strong>in</strong>g meditation <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>meditation hall (on <strong>the</strong> upper level) and <strong>the</strong> d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g hall (on <strong>the</strong>lower level) <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> adjacent build<strong>in</strong>g, <strong>to</strong> do <strong>the</strong> Ten M<strong>in</strong>dfulnessMovements. Every level is full of people. <strong>The</strong>re are young aspirantswho are still sleepy, stand<strong>in</strong>g like zombies and rais<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong>ir armsonly occasionally. Even though sitt<strong>in</strong>g meditation beg<strong>in</strong>s at 5:00a.m., most are already at <strong>the</strong>ir cushions by 4:50 a.m.Our sisters chant energetically and powerfully! In Plum Village,I often felt self-conscious of my loud chant<strong>in</strong>g voice. I donot have <strong>to</strong> worry about this here, because my voice blends <strong>in</strong> with<strong>the</strong> Sangha’s like milk <strong>in</strong> water.S<strong>to</strong>ries About FoodWe eat breakfast at 6 a.m. Everyone leaves her shoes outsideand walks barefoot <strong>in</strong><strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g hall. <strong>The</strong> shoes are alignedneatly next <strong>to</strong> each o<strong>the</strong>r, and sometimes when I come out, I see myshoes have been moved closer <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> door threshold; I am <strong>to</strong>uchedby <strong>the</strong>se quiet k<strong>in</strong>d gestures. <strong>The</strong>re are three serv<strong>in</strong>g tables (for28 Summer 2006
monastic INSIGHT170 people), narrow and only one meter long each, because ourfood is simple and without much variety. We usually have rice atall three meals, with a stir-fry dish and a vegetable dish. <strong>The</strong>re issoup at lunch, but sometimes we have just one dish. <strong>The</strong> sistersask <strong>to</strong> have rice, <strong>in</strong>stead of noodle soup of some sorts, because<strong>the</strong>y get hungry very quickly, and <strong>the</strong>y cannot work or sleep wellat night.In <strong>the</strong> d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g hall at Deer Park, <strong>the</strong>re is a separate table fullof bottles and conta<strong>in</strong>ers of soy sauce, olive oil, chilies, peanuts,sesame seeds, and so on. Here <strong>in</strong> Prajna, food is flavored wi<strong>the</strong>nough salt, and only occasionally <strong>the</strong>re is a bowl of soy sauceor <strong>to</strong>ma<strong>to</strong> sauce on <strong>the</strong> serv<strong>in</strong>g table (<strong>to</strong>ma<strong>to</strong>es are <strong>to</strong>o expensivefor cook<strong>in</strong>g). <strong>The</strong> shopp<strong>in</strong>g sisters also try <strong>to</strong> roast sesame for <strong>the</strong>Sangha, but <strong>the</strong> jar is emptied so quickly that only two or threedays later we see ano<strong>the</strong>r jar. In pr<strong>in</strong>ciple, we can talk after twosounds of <strong>the</strong> bell, but everyone rema<strong>in</strong>s silent throughout threemeals; some whisper if it’s very necessary <strong>to</strong> exchange someth<strong>in</strong>g.I am happy with this, because that little t<strong>in</strong>y d<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g hall would belike an open market place if everyone talked.Before Sister Thoai Nghiem left Deer Park <strong>to</strong> return <strong>to</strong> Prajnathis last Oc<strong>to</strong>ber, she <strong>to</strong>ld us that <strong>the</strong> sisters <strong>in</strong> Prajna crave sweets.Upon hear<strong>in</strong>g this, some sisters thought that this crav<strong>in</strong>g for sweetswas due <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>m be<strong>in</strong>g teenagers. I myself thought it could bebecause <strong>the</strong>y were malnourished. After a few days <strong>in</strong> Prajna, Ifound myself crav<strong>in</strong>g sweets as well! Sister Nhu Hieu shared that<strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r day she had a lollipop, and it tasted better than any candyshe had ever had <strong>in</strong> France! We both laughed <strong>to</strong>ge<strong>the</strong>r, because weare far from be<strong>in</strong>g teenagers. Each time when our bro<strong>the</strong>rs andsisters from Plum Village are <strong>to</strong>ge<strong>the</strong>r for a meet<strong>in</strong>g, we br<strong>in</strong>g allour sweets, place <strong>the</strong>m on <strong>the</strong> table, and eat <strong>to</strong>ge<strong>the</strong>r. <strong>The</strong> truthis that none of us has <strong>the</strong> heart <strong>to</strong> enjoy <strong>the</strong>se sweets alone, if wedon’t have enough <strong>to</strong> share with those <strong>in</strong> our room.Last week we had a meet<strong>in</strong>g with <strong>the</strong> Venerable Abbot ofPrajna Temple, and he said he felt much love for us com<strong>in</strong>g fromPlum Village, because we all become darker and th<strong>in</strong>ner here.“Even bro<strong>the</strong>r Pháp Kham, who was fair and round when he firstarrived, now also looks so dark and th<strong>in</strong>!” (“He’s look<strong>in</strong>g morelike a mounta<strong>in</strong> person [a montagnard, mounta<strong>in</strong> tribesman] now,”a sister whispered, and all of us giggled). “Well, we have givenseventy, eighty percent of ourselves, so we can give up <strong>to</strong> n<strong>in</strong>ety,one hundred percent of ourselves. We just cont<strong>in</strong>ue <strong>to</strong> stretch ourarms a little longer. So many people desperately need our practice.Centers like ours must be present everywhere <strong>in</strong> Vietnam <strong>in</strong>order <strong>to</strong> rebuild our country....” <strong>The</strong> Venerable spoke with suchenthusiasm, and with such a charismatic smile, we looked at eacho<strong>the</strong>r and laughed, admir<strong>in</strong>g <strong>the</strong> Venerable for his talent for giv<strong>in</strong>gus effective spiritual boosters.Lett<strong>in</strong>g Go of AttachmentsBefore I came <strong>to</strong> Prajna Temple, I heard Sister Thoai Nghiemsay that <strong>the</strong> biggest problem here is attachment. I reacted strongly,believ<strong>in</strong>g that people with that tendency should be expelled from<strong>the</strong> community. However, liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong>ge<strong>the</strong>r with <strong>the</strong> sisters andlisten<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>m, I understand better <strong>the</strong> causes of <strong>the</strong>ir tendencyfor attachment.I practice Noble Silence each Lazy Monday for at least halfa day, because I conduct an ana<strong>to</strong>my class for our sisters later <strong>in</strong><strong>the</strong> afternoon. Last Sunday even<strong>in</strong>g, it was past 10 p.m. alreadywhen one of my mentees came <strong>to</strong> my room, ask<strong>in</strong>g me <strong>to</strong> help herwith her <strong>in</strong>somnia because, she said, “I know you’ll be practic<strong>in</strong>gNoble Silence <strong>to</strong>morrow.” I <strong>to</strong>ld her <strong>to</strong> return <strong>to</strong> her bed, lie down,and follow her breath<strong>in</strong>g. If she could not sleep that night, it wouldbe okay; she’s had this problem several years, and we were notgo<strong>in</strong>g <strong>to</strong> solve it that night. She walked away angry, and her stepswere heavy. A few days later, I asked her if she was still mad atme, and she said her anger resolved after she had been follow<strong>in</strong>gher breath<strong>in</strong>g for a while. I asked if she knew why I sent her back<strong>to</strong> her room that night. “Because you want me <strong>to</strong> practice tak<strong>in</strong>grefuge <strong>in</strong> myself,” she replied.Because all of us, monastics as well as aspirants, live <strong>in</strong> onebuild<strong>in</strong>g, <strong>the</strong> sisters have <strong>the</strong> tendency <strong>to</strong> “s<strong>to</strong>p by” your roomanytime <strong>the</strong>y want. Some also tend <strong>to</strong> “hang out” nearby or ata distance, look<strong>in</strong>g at you with curious and affectionate eyes.Sometimes I return <strong>to</strong> my room late, feel<strong>in</strong>g exhausted, and I seesome young aspirants knock<strong>in</strong>g on my w<strong>in</strong>dow, wav<strong>in</strong>g and smil<strong>in</strong>g!!!I have requested a couple of my mentees <strong>to</strong> memorize <strong>the</strong>sutra “Tak<strong>in</strong>g Refuge <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong> Island of Self.” <strong>The</strong>y are <strong>to</strong> recite it<strong>to</strong> me by memory, <strong>to</strong> contemplate on this sutra, and <strong>to</strong> apply thisteach<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir daily lives.Hav<strong>in</strong>g lived with <strong>the</strong> sisters and listened <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir life s<strong>to</strong>ries,I understand more why some of <strong>the</strong>m are prone <strong>to</strong> attachment.Many of <strong>the</strong>m do not receive love or positive communication<strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir families and <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir previous temples. <strong>The</strong>refore, when<strong>the</strong>y happen <strong>to</strong> meet a person who has some freshness and whospends time <strong>to</strong> take care of <strong>the</strong>m, <strong>the</strong>y want <strong>to</strong> attach <strong>the</strong>mselves<strong>to</strong> that person. <strong>The</strong>y want <strong>to</strong> attach <strong>the</strong>ir hearts, fragile and fullof sadness, <strong>to</strong> a person <strong>the</strong>y th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>the</strong>y can trust. I see clearly thatas older bro<strong>the</strong>rs and sisters, we must practice <strong>to</strong> nourish stabilityand space with<strong>in</strong> ourselves, so that we can understand o<strong>the</strong>rsmore deeply with time, and so that our love entails no “hook” tha<strong>to</strong><strong>the</strong>rs can “attach” <strong>to</strong>.Background of Our Monastics<strong>The</strong>se past three weeks our dharma teachers have begun <strong>to</strong><strong>in</strong>terview <strong>the</strong> aspirants and visit<strong>in</strong>g nuns who request <strong>to</strong> stay andpractice with us. I also participate <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>se <strong>in</strong>terviews <strong>to</strong> help assess<strong>the</strong>ir health condition. Each day, we use <strong>the</strong> work<strong>in</strong>g period,an afternoon activity, and <strong>the</strong> even<strong>in</strong>g sitt<strong>in</strong>g session <strong>to</strong> conduct<strong>in</strong>terviews. I have learned a great deal from <strong>the</strong>se sessions.<strong>The</strong>re are sisters who are so <strong>in</strong>nocent and pure; <strong>the</strong>y want <strong>to</strong>become monastics because <strong>the</strong>y have seen how beautiful <strong>the</strong> monasticscan be <strong>in</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir f<strong>in</strong>e manners, behavior, and speech. <strong>The</strong>reare also those who come from unhappy families; <strong>the</strong>ir parentsabuse and neglect each o<strong>the</strong>r, and <strong>the</strong> young people do not want<strong>to</strong> repeat this cycle of suffer<strong>in</strong>g. <strong>The</strong>re is one girl who spent mos<strong>to</strong>f her tender years car<strong>in</strong>g for a mo<strong>the</strong>r with mental illness, begg<strong>in</strong>gfor food, work<strong>in</strong>g as a maid, and defend<strong>in</strong>g her mo<strong>the</strong>r andherself from perverse men. <strong>The</strong>re are those who came <strong>to</strong> live <strong>in</strong> atemple when <strong>the</strong>y were only three or four years old. Yet <strong>the</strong>ir facescont<strong>in</strong>ued on page 46<strong>the</strong> M<strong>in</strong>dfulness Bell 29