Thich Nhat Hanh Jewish Roots The Better Way to Live Alone in the ...

mental HEALTHThe calligraphy of Lynette Monteiro,True Wonderful Fulfillment, isfeatured throughout this issue.A member of Sangha Arana in Ottawa,she lives in Navan, Ontario, Canadawith her partner Frank anda host of loving animals.opposite: Form Is Emptinessabove: Lynette Monteiro, GenerosityFollowing the session, I return to my meditation chair andsilently concentrate on my breath. I let go of Lisa and our worktoday. I smile to the image of Scott, my next client. I return myfocus fully to my breathing. I slowly stand and begin to walk, coordinatingevery three steps with my inhale and every four stepswith my exhale. Scott begins the session with apathy and disdain,verbalizing his disinterest in being in therapy. He complains ofpeople mistreating him. After empathizing with his struggles mymind begins to wander. I hear the sound of people’s voices in thehallway. This distraction builds and threatens to throw me offbalance, drawing me into Scott’s stories and emotion. I ask Scottif he minds if I close my eyes while I listen to him. This opensmy ears in a new way. I begin to deeply listen to Scott, hearingthe pain and fear behind his defensive speech of disclaimers, hismasculine façade of having it all together. Somehow Scott beginsto open up deeper. He associates my closed eyes with my full, undividedattention. In this exchange of deeper awareness, honesty,and connection, he and I become aware of insights reflected inthe present experience.At a midday administrative meeting, my stomach tightenswhen my suggestions seem to go unnoticed. I deepen my breathto my abdomen, repeating the phrases commonly used by ThichNhat Hanh: “Breathing in, I calm my body; breathing out, I smile;dwelling in this present moment; I know this is a wonderful moment.”My thoughts become more focused. I assert myself to theteam leader, asking for the group to reconsider my ideas. Later,one group member, Dr. Christopher, rejects and criticizes my suggestionfor improving a client’s health. My shoulders tense, myheartbeat increases, and beliefs of “I’m not helping anybody” and“I never say the right things” blanket my view. I reconnect withmy breathing and decide I will address Dr. Christopher’s approachwith me after the meeting so as not to risk embarrassing him infront of the team and to not take up time from the busy agenda. Ialso resolve that if he is busy after the meeting I will set up a timeto speak with him later.Before seeing my next client, Joe, I close my office door totake a two-minute break in my meditation chair. I anchor my attentionto my breath and scan my body. I relax the tension that wasbeginning to creep into my shoulders. I practice letting go of mylast meeting and my morning clients. I slowly walk to the waitingroom, feeling my body transition with each step. I greet Joe witha warm smile and firm handshake. Remembering that my mindtends to wander quite a bit with Joe, I practice mindful listening.When my mind trails off, I return the focus to my breath, not Joe.This anchors me to the present moment in the room and re-opensmy ears to listen deeply.Between sessions, I make some administrative phone calls,mostly to managed care companies. It is not surprising to me whenI am put on hold several times, transferred to incorrect departments,and challenged over my professional opinion. During thefinal call, I am put on hold for several minutes. I had kept my balanceup to this point, but this seems to dig at me in a deeper way.As I become aware of the rising bodily and emotional tension, Ishift my attitude. I see this phone call as an opportunity—a spaceto befriend the breath once again. This keeps me focused on whatis most important for me to say for my client and it keeps me freshfor the person that begins to speak on the other line.I am running late for my session with Sue but knowing theimportance of breathing through the transitions and creating spacefor each person, I return to my meditation chair for a few deepbreaths. In my session with Sue, I soon begin to feel overwhelmedby the amount of stress, sadness, abuse, and shame she is reflectingand experiencing. I listen carefully and only speak of those thingsI know to be true about her condition and express them as myperceptions, thus fallible. We conclude this emotional work withfive minutes of silent breathing to pay respect to Sue’s opennessand vulnerability with another being.My workday is coming to a conclusion, but much of the dayremains. I stand in the middle of the office to appreciate the fullnessof the work and respect the energy that was present. Withcareful awareness, I flick off the light-switch and pull the doorclosed behind me. Leaving the clinic, I again notice the cricketand its particular position, now slanted a bit to the right. I smileto it and slowly turn to walk to my car.Ryan Niemiec, Fullest Breath of the Heart, is a clinicalpsychologist in St. Louis, Missouri. He works in the Programfor Psychology & Religion, helping ministers, priests, and nunswith mental health problems, as well as the Headache & PainManagement Program; he also teaches mindfulness.the Mindfulness Bell 35