Thich Nhat Hanh Jewish Roots The Better Way to Live Alone in the ...

mental HEALTHhe is saying. With a vague idea of Joe’s conflict with his boss, Ioffer a general suggestion to journal more about this conflict andencourage him to sympathize more with his boss’s position. Joethanks me for my suggestions as he leaves, leading me to believeI have done him some good.I have five minutes between sessions to call a managedcare (insurance) company to get authorization for more visitsfor a client. I dread making these calls. They never go smoothly.The workers transfer me to two different departments. I noticemy frustration level rises and I begin to feel these people are inconveniencingme and wasting my time. A third voice comes onthe line and tells me she is putting me on hold, and before I canrespond the background music clicks on. Hearing the soft musicfurther escalates my anger as I am forced to pause my busy dayfor a couple minutes. Realizing I cannot tolerate this injustice anylonger, I count down from ten to one, curse at the music, and slamthe phone down on the receiver.I stomp off toward the waiting room to greet my next client,Sue. Along the way, I pass a colleague and I mumble somethingabout how incompetent and insensitive all managed care workersare and how they prevent good therapists from doing their job. Thecolleague nods in acknowledgment and walks on.Sue is very upset today. She is mourning some losses in herlife. I don’t have much energy left after a ten-hour day of backto-backclients, group sessions, and meetings. I listen for a whileand drift off to planning what I will do next—my house needssome work, I could go to the store, and I deserve to relax with abeer and a movie. The session nears a close and I feel confusedas to how I can help Sue today. I make a general and safe suggestionthat she peruse her old photo albums and journal about herexperience to manage her grief.The day is finally over. I grab my coat and walk as fast as Ican down the hallway, hoping no one will try to have a conversationwith me. Leaving the clinic, I think about where I might stopfor dinner.Present Day: With MindfulnessI listen to the engine transition from idle and click off. I haveintentionally parked my car several rows back from the clinic’sback door so I can enjoy the walk. I feel the sensation of thesun’s rays on my right cheek as it makes its way through somecumulus clouds. As I open the clinic door, I see a dead cricketupside down on the ground. I allow this image to stay with methroughout the day.Before meeting with my first client, Lisa, I prepare for thesession with a brief meditation. I follow my breathing closely tobring about a concentrated awareness to start the therapy session.I feel a sense of clarity, which stays with me as I walk down thehallway. I feel very focused with Lisa. I challenge her verbosityand we explore the fears she hides with her words.34 Summer 2006