"We are born astride a grave - WaynesWorldStage.com

I didn’t want Simon to be alone in thetheatre during the rehearsal. I called Actors'Equity and asked them to post a notice that unionmembers were invited to this evening's rehearsal.That may have been a mistake. Unemployedactors do not make for a good audience.Having never met or even seen JohnSimon before, I hesitate to say that he wasinebriated. He may always seem that way.About twenty-five members of AEAshowed up to augment Mr. Simon's presence.I went up on stage and made anannouncement that this was only a rehearsal, nota performance, and it was our very first rehearsalwith props and costumes. I then sat down andwaited for the house lights to dim. The lightsdimmed a little and then stopped. It seems therewere theatre "work lights" on and no one knewhow to turn them off. It took a few minutes tofind the switch for the work lights. I went back onstage and explained what happened. I ended bysaying, "I hope you enjoy the show." A loud,clear voice answered back, "It stinks so far." Ireally don't know if that voice was Simon's, butafter reading his review, I assume it was. Itimplied that he was present on opening night. Heripped the production apart.315