"We are born astride a grave - WaynesWorldStage.com

happy about their streets being filled up withcommuters’ cars. It was not unusual to returnfrom work and find a nasty note on thewindshield.One evening, after working very late, Ifound my car with a broken window, brokenantenna and four flat tires. As strange as it maysound, the broken window was a commonoccurrence. It was later determined that a localauto glass company was paying a gang of teens togo about the area smashing car windows. Butfour flat tires? I took a taxi home. The nextmorning I called a garage and asked how I coulddeal with four flat tires. The mechanic asked meif the tires were slashed or if the air had been letout. As far as I knew, the air had been let out. Heasked, “Do you have a bicycle pump?” I thoughthe was crazy. A bicycle pump for an automobile?It worked like a charm. I didn’t even break into asweat. Ever since, I have wondered why a bicyclepump is not standard equipment in a car trunk.After pumping up my tires, I drove upand down the block where I had been parked,yelling out the window, “Twenty bucks to anyonewho can tell me who vandalized my car.”On about the third trip, a little black girlcame running up to my car. She gave me thename and address of the girl who did it. That’s380