Tony Robbins -Re-Awaken_the_Giant_Within

Take a moment right now, and discover from this list which of these emotions you value most. Simply
rewrite the list in your order of importance, with 1 being the emotional state you hold as most important,
and 10 being least important. Please take a moment now and fill in the blanks in your order of
importance.
So what did you learn by doing this ranking? If I were sitting next to you, I could probably give you
some quality feedback. For example, I’d know a lot about you if your number-one value was freedom,
followed by passion, adventure, and power. I know you’re going to make different decisions than
someone whose top values are security, comfort, intimacy, and health. Do you think a person whose
number-one value is adventure makes decisions the same way as someone whose number-one value is
security? Do you think these people would drive the same kind of car? Take the same kind of vacation?
Seek out the same profession? Far from it.
Remember, whatever your values are, they affect the direction of your life. We have all learned through
our life’s experience that certain emotions give us more pleasure than others. For example, some people
have learned that the way to have the most pleasurable emotions in life is to have a sense of control, so
they pursue it with incredible vigor. It becomes the dominant focus of all their actions: It shapes who
they will have relationships with, what they will do within those relationships, and how they’ll live. It
also causes them, as you can imagine, to feel quite uncomfortable in any environment where they’re not
in charge.
Conversely, some people link pain to the idea of control. What they want more than anything else is
a sense of freedom and adventure. Therefore, they make decisions completely differently. Others get
the same level of pleasure through a different emotion: contribution. This value causes that person to
constantly ask, “What can I give? How can I make a difference?” This would certainly send them in a
different direction from someone whose highest value was control.
Once you know what your values are, you can clearly understand why you head in the directions that
you do on a consistent basis. Also, by seeing the hierarchy of your values, you can see why sometimes
you have difficulty making decisions or why there may be conflicts in your life. For example, if a
person’s number-one value is freedom, and number two is intimacy, these two incompatible values are
so closely ranked that often this person will have challenges.
I remember a man I counseled at one time who was constantly feeling this push-pull. He consistently
sought autonomy, but when he achieved it, he felt alone and craved intimacy. Then, as he pursued
intimacy, he became fearful he would lose his freedom, and so he’d sabotage the relationship. One
particular relationship was continually on-again, off-again while he cycled between these two values.
After I helped him make a simple change in the hierarchy of his values, his relationship and his life was
instantly changed. Shifting priorities produces power.
Knowing your own values helps you to get more clarity as to why you do what you do and how you
can live more consistently, but knowing the values of others is equally important. Might it be valuable
to know the values of someone you’re in a relationship with, or somebody you’re in business with?
©2013 Robbins Research International. www.tonyrobbins.com 51