Tony Robbins -Re-Awaken_the_Giant_Within

a vegetarian, but ate only raw food, and she still didn’t feel perfect! What are your chances of being
healthier than everyone you know? Not much, unless you hang out in the intensive care unit!
LAURIE’S OLD MOVING-AWAY-FROM VALUES AND RULES
Rejection: I feel rejected if someone doesn’t share my beliefs, if someone seemingly knows more than I do.
Failure: I feel failure if someone doesn’t believe I’m a good person. I feel failure if I don’t feel I support
myself or my family well enough.
Anger: I feel anger when I don’t feel like what I do is appreciated, when people judge me before they
know me.
These moving-away-from rules are equally immobilizing. Notice how easy it is to feel bad, and how hard
it is to feel good. If all it takes for her to feel rejected is someone not sharing her beliefs, then she’s in for a
lot of heartache. And what are the chances in your life of having people judge you before they know you?
Only about one hundred percent! With these rules, can you imagine what it would be like to live in her
body? She was racked with pain, and one of her biggest sources, if you look at her rules, was people. Any
time she was around people, she was risking the possibility they might not share her beliefs, or might not
like her, or might judge her. No wonder she was hiding out! At one point I finally said, “It’s my guess that a
person with values and rules like this would develop an ulcer.” She said, “I already have one.”
Laurie’s experience, unfortunately, is not unique. Certainly some of her rules are more intense than
others. But you will be absolutely surprised when you find out how unfair your own rules are when you
begin to scrutinize them! At Date With Destiny, we attract some of the most successful people in the
country—people whose level of skill and influence in the culture is unmatched. And yet, while they’re
successful on the outside, many are lacking the happiness and fulfillment they deserve. Invariably, it’s
because of values conflicts or inappropriate rules.
THE SOLUTION
The solution is very simple. All we have to do to make our lives work is set up a system of evaluating that
includes rules that are achievable, that make it easy to feel good and hard to feel bad, that constantly
pull us in the direction we want to go. Certainly it’s useful to have some rules that give us pain. We
need to have limits; we need to have some kind of pressure that drives us. I can’t taste fresh orange juice
unless I have a glass, something with limits to contain the juice. We all have limits, both as a society and
as individuals. For starters, though, we should at least rewire ourselves so we can experience pleasure
more consistently in life. When people are feeling good all the time, they tend to treat others better, and
they tend to maximize their potential as human beings.
So what’s our goal? Once we design our values, we must decide what evidence we need to have before
we give ourselves pleasure. We need to design rules that will move us in the direction of our values, that
will clearly be achievable, using criteria we can control personally so that we’re ringing the bell instead
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