Tony Robbins -Re-Awaken_the_Giant_Within

prisoners asked him why he did it, he couldn’t defend himself by saying he’d been tortured. He had to
justify his acts to himself in order to maintain his own sense of integrity. In an instant, he would state that
he wrote it because it was true! In that moment, his identity shifted. He now perceived himself as pro-
Communist, and all those around him also labeled him as such. They would reinforce his new identity
by treating him the same way they treated the Communist guards.
Soon his new identity would cause him to openly denounce his country and, in order to maintain
consistency between his statements and his new label, he would often collaborate even more
extensively with his captors. This was one of the most brilliant facets of the Chinese strategy: once a
prisoner had written something down, he couldn’t later pretend to himself that it had never happened.
There it was in black and white, in his own handwriting, for anyone to see—something that drove him
“to make his beliefs and his self-image consistent with what he had undeniably done.”
Before we judge our POWs harshly, however, we should take a good look at ourselves. Did you
consciously choose your identity, or is it the result of what other people have told you, significant
events in your life, and other factors that occurred without your awareness or approval? What consistent
behaviors have you adopted that now help to form the basis of your identity?
Would you be willing to undergo a painful bone-marrow extraction to help a stranger? Most people’s
first response would be, “Absolutely not!” Yet in a study done in 1970, researchers found that if a person
was led to believe that the consistency of their identity relied upon it, many would commit to just such a
selfless act.
The study showed that when the subjects were asked to make small commitments first, and followed up
with two simple acts that made not volunteering seem “out of character,” many began to develop a new
identity. They began to see themselves as “donors,” as a person who unconditionally commits to help
those in need through personal sacrifice. Once this occurred, when the request for the bone marrow was
made, these people felt compelled by the force of their new identity to follow through regardless of the
time, money, or physical pain involved. Their view of themselves as donors became a reflection of who
they were. There is no more potent leverage in shaping human behavior than identity.
You might ask, “Isn’t my identity limited by my experience?” No, it’s limited by your interpretation
of your experience. Your identity is nothing but the decisions you’ve made about who you are, what
you’ve decided to fuse yourself with. You become the labels you’ve given yourself. The way you define
your identity defines your life.
THE ULTIMATE PAIN—SEEDS OF AN IDENTITY CRISIS
People who act inconsistently with who they believe they are set the stage for the societal cliché of
an “identity crisis.” When the crisis hits, they are immediately disoriented, questioning their previous
convictions. Their whole world is turned upside down, and they experience an intense fear of pain. This
is what happens to so many people having a “midlife crisis.” Often these people identify themselves as
being young, and some environmental stimulant—turning a certain age, comments from friends, graying
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