April 20 to April 19, 2016 The official guide to Gay Palm Springs for 21 years.

THAT IS FUNNY
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of
the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The
guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes
up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
A stoner was relaxing next to a cactus with his horse standing next to him. Along came a stranger and
asked, “What time is it?” The stoner looked at the horse, lifted up his balls and said, “It’s 4:20.” The stranger
said, “You’re sure it’s 4:20?” The stoner lifted up his horse’s balls again and said, “Yup, its 4:20!” The guy
says, “How the hell can you tell time by lifting up the horse’s balls?” The stoner lifts up the horses balls
and says, “You see that clock over there?”
What do you call a stoner when horny? A weed wacker!
What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ? A Liar.
WEEKLY GUIDE TO THE STARS
ARIES March 20 - April 18: If you
teach a man to fish, he can eat
forever. You know, until he gets
mercury poisoning.
TAURUS April 19 - May 19: Be
thorough in everything you do.
You don’t know when youll miss
a mistake. Like that apostrophe I
forgot. See?
GEMINI May 20 - June 19: Running
through a field can get your
mind off things. It can also get
you a buildup of mosquito bites.
Watch out.
CANCER June 20 - July 21: It’s
time you took a swim in lake you.
Yeah, I said it, and I don’t care
how stupid it sounds!
LEO July 22 - Aug. 21: Don’t
speak softly. Speak clearly and annunciate
your words. Otherwise,
how the heck is anyone gonna
know what you’re saying?
VIRGO Aug. 22 - Sept. 21: Be
smart about the simpler things.
Be smarter about the complicated
things. And get a rocket science
degree for that propulsion system
you want to develop.
LIBRA Sept. 22 - Oct. 21: Rain
can be okay. Unless it’s in blocksof-ice
form. Then get inside,
idiot!
SCORPIO. Oct. 22 - Nov. 20:
Look, breakdancing was fine and
all when you were young. Now?
It’s just sad, man. Just. Plain. Sad.
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 21-Dec. 20:
You never know what you’re going
to get in a box of chocolates.
So check. There could be ants or
mold or something!
CAPRICORN Dec. 21-Jan. 18:
Tread carefully through the
thorny bushes. Because they have
thorns. I mean, seriously! Thorns!
AQUARIUS Jan. 19 - Feb. 17:
Lost love is better than no love at
all. But love is pretty good. You
should find that first and hold
onto it instead of just losing it,
dingus!
PISCES Feb. 18 - March 19: Can’t
catch a break lately? Then break
something like a plate! And then
clean it up, because what’s wrong
with you? Seriously?
46 Your weekly LGBT Gay Desert Guide. View our Free Digital Version on-line.