L&R June Magazine 2017

Etiquette
The forms required by good breeding or prescribed by authority or direction to be
displayed, observed and implemented in social or public life. Observance and
acknowledgment of a structure which produces identifications of rank, status, hierarchy
requiring expressions of conventional behaviour decorum as prescribed by strict rule
and custom relating to the differences within the behaviour based upon the relationship
of the individual to those of other rank and status.
The rules of accepted formal etiquette standards are complex. When approaching
issues of etiquette within a sub-society such as BDSM it becomes perhaps more
important to understand the existing basics of general etiquette and manners first.
Manners can be viewed to be the desire to please or express a generosity of self and
spirit blended seamlessly with common sense, practicality and knowledge which aids
us in our actions toward others. Manners (etiquette) essentially emerges from a desire
to express thought and care toward others, service to others. We use etiquette and
manners to celebrate traditions, reinforce rituals, highlight ceremonies, eliminate
friction, add balance or neutrality by expressing the fundamental belief that the rights,
traditions and belief's of others will be held in esteem and be considered of value
regardless or perhaps because of the differences between those belief's held by others
and the belief's held by the self.
The inability to embrace these forms of social flexibility can create atmospheres of
anger, disapproval, conflict, hatred and even warfare or other expressions of violence
and assault. Etiquette was developed as a means of breaching differences to reach a
place of communication where the beginnings of understanding become possible. As
our world inevitably shrinks people are beginning to communicate across borders,
countries, customs, traditions, and religions in increasing numbers. An international
'workplace' is no longer an unusual workplace. The Internet has created a vast border
crossing that allows each cyber visitor to communicate with human beings from all
walks of life, creeds, cultures, racial and ethnic backgrounds, social and sexual
diversities. The role of etiquette and manners has not 'declined' with these
advancements but become perhaps even more crucial. Each individual has the unique
right to determine based on their 'actions' how they will present themselves on the
world stage. Each can elect to comport themselves with dignity and grace, or can
choose to display conduct unbecoming by expressing the fear and hatreds common to
their personal upbringing.