L&R June Magazine 2017

For those that forever remain within the bondage of the medium, antics, rules and
concepts of fantasy role play are as they wish to construct them. However, enough
people transition into the real life BDSM world from the Internet that it becomes
increasingly important to step forward into the fantasy role play and indicate that much if
not all that they do here does not translate well into real life. To expect it to is irrational.
One does not ‘train’ online. Interaction between a Dominant and a submissive can occur
and does but the level of reality is limited by the medium.
One can, may and should educate themselves. One should meet people, explore topics
and see how they feel about things. One should be ‘wary’ of falling in love. Friendship
and interest are fair game. Respect should be given to the office of love, commitment
and relationships. Distance, space and contact can make the entering into such a
relationship easy to do but one should never underestimate that upon conversion into
reality physical chemistry, and all of the things which exist in the real world have to be
factored in.
Many people believe it is a way to have a relationship without all of the costs of one in
reality. One should understand that a cyber collar is not worth the fabric that constructs it.
It is rather like creating a ‘make believe’ wedding ring to wear. It lacks substance and in
many ways belittles the real thing. Which is real, exists in physical form and is
exchanged from one human hand to one human neck.
Many people long to separate from alignment with the cyber community because of its
reputation for promoting inaccurate behaviours, injuring innocent people who are too
eager to believe in those who profess expertise and for portraying relationships in
functionally impossible ways. Labels are hastily thrown upon anyone whose opinion
varies from theirs. A wannabe or a cyber this or that. This is ignorant and dangerous.
Among the cyber population is a growing number of predators. Those who seek to find
the vulnerable, exploit their dreams and pervert those dreams into ugly episodes of
brutality and cruelty. And there are those who have discovered a way to find ‘free’ people
to use for sex or servant.
They have landed amidst the herd of the unsuspecting. The only way to combat these
people who are not ‘of’ our community but ‘using’ it for ugly purposes is education. The
more a person learns the easier it becomes to spot those who have suspect motives. It is
certain we will find other and better ways as we become more adept at using the medium
to work for the community instead of against it.
We must accept that a significant percentage of those people online who are actively
exploring the BDSM cyber community will at some point take the steps necessary to
experience some aspect of this in real life. Therefore they cannot be considered fake or
illusions or ‘cyber’. They are merely people who have not get experienced a real life
exchange or D/s relationship. The inaccuracies of the ‘fantasy role play’ have to be
addressed or faced where they are flagrant.