L&R June Magazine 2017

I do not seek to convey any particular religious view point nor disparage anyone from a
particular faith system. Well except to dispel the ridiculous notion that carnal pleasures
are the work of the devil. I mean seriously!! the devil in all its forms does not allow
pleasure?
Ok so lets skip back to the subject before the zealots line up behind the feminists. BDSM
or more particularly D/s relationships have a very strict structure called the "framework"
everyone will have a different framework that suits them but always there is the
Dominant and one or more (poly) submissives.
Unlike the more traditional marriages of today the bond between a Dominant and his/her
submissive is on every level. To be collared or Owned is not a contract agreeing to a
partnership it is the giving by the submissive of ones self. Mind Body and soul. The
unfettered use of his/her body the control over his/her life the role of care giver in every
aspect of the D's requirement. In return for this the Dominant promises to give his/her
guidance, love, protection through the duration of the time he owns her/him.
She or he does not withhold a single piece of herself and would become owned
completely. This is not to suggest that they become a mindless automaton far from it. It is
simply that they defer. to the D in all things. It is an insane Dominant that does not make
use of his/her submissives mind in the smooth running of their dynamic. Sadly many
vanilla relationships fail for this very reason as all that is vibrant and beautiful about a
wife or husband is suffocated out of them. Remember this is Dominant not domineer and
submission is not oppression.
There are two main communities of BDSM lifestyle practitioners. real life or meat life as
its sometimes called and online. Many regard online as "not real" but personally I would
say it is very real and very different and can provide a rich and rewarding experience. It
is true though that the more physical side of the lifestyle just can not be done online so it
would tend to focus on the psychological aspects of BDSM and D/s works just fine
provided the parties can handle the distance and often the time zones. The advent of
the technology to create chat rooms, virtual worlds complete with virtual bars, clubs and
theatres coupled with the increased capability of communication to a global level means
that people who are Interested in a wide range of fetishes, lifestyle choices and or more
obscure activities desires and feelings can find a place to gel with others like them.
All of these types of relationship spaces have terms and etiquettes generally to observe
and many can be intense drama filled places but having said that the “local” scene can
also throw up some of the same sorts of things.
I hope you find the brief description of these lifestyle terms helpful and next month I will
delve a little deeper into more thoughts and musings.