Look Inside Young Adult Road Map

Practicing Assertiveness
The way you speak, move, dress, and react can affect how you are treated by providers.
Assertiveness experts offer these tips on getting results at an appointment or meeting:
l Project the right image.
l Dress neatly.
l Shake hands firmly. Make strong eye contact.
l Take time to organize records and paperwork.
l Sit or stand in an upright but relaxed way. Keep your body still and relaxed.
Fidgeting will make you seem uneasy or lacking in confidence.
l If you feel nervous, practice what you want to say ahead of time.
l Speak with confidence.
l State clearly and calmly what you believe to be true (“I think that... I feel that...”).
l Speak up in a strong tone of voice without asking for permission or making apologies.
l Don’t try to attack, bully, blame, or shame the other person. Your goal is to solve
problems, not win arguments.
l Listen to the other person carefully. Show you are listening by wearing an alert, attentive
expression.
l Refer to the other person’s point of view when you give a different opinion (“I understand
that you feel...,but I believe...”).
l When you honestly agree with the person, say so. A little stroking never hurts (“Yes, that
seems like a good idea.”).
l Don’t raise your voice. If you aren’t satisfied, say so politely but firmly. Make suggestions.
Ask for ideas.
l Do NOT text while talking with others. It makes you look like you are avoiding the
conversation or not paying attention.
Show you expect results
l Before you leave the room, briefly sum up the discussion, describing what each person has
agreed to do (action items) in a certain amount of time. Follow up on those items in the
agreed upon time.
l State decisions in terms of “we” and “us” (“So, as I understand it, we’ve decided to...”).
Remember, you are the other vote in the room.
l If you think the other person may not clearly understand or stick to the agreement, send a
note that sums up the decisions made in your meeting, or get a person you trust to help you
with this, if necessary. Keep a copy for your files. In case of a conflict, this letter becomes
part of the record to help you get results.
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