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my upcoming wedding, I was disconcerted. This news came<br />
with an uneasy feeling for me because I felt like this family<br />
decision to allow us to formalize our relationship had been made<br />
under duress. I felt it was not made from love or good intentions<br />
but out of anger. A sense of gloom hung over me because I felt<br />
we had been rejected and nothing good was bound to come out<br />
of such a union. The hypocrisy of it all was crushing.<br />
Then, there was another glitch – the trip to Rwanda. How on<br />
earth was I going back to Kigali after being hunted down like a<br />
dangerous enemy of the state? Word had gone around that I was<br />
a “wrong element” wanted by the police. My tormentors had<br />
painted me in very negative light and I did not know if anyone<br />
would want to associate with me when I got back home. Who<br />
wants to be around a criminal? No one! And to imagine that the<br />
felony was love was incredulous! Hated for loving. It was<br />
unbelievable. My family was puzzled. They had learnt about<br />
what was happening and they could have none of it. They did<br />
not understand why I would want to be with a guy whose family<br />
had security forces hunting for me. My perplexed friends, whom<br />
I had gone to school with, were equally worried about me. They<br />
said in going ahead with my decision, I was burying myself alive.<br />
What a declaration. Nonetheless, although these possibilities<br />
frightened me, I had already gone too far to jump out.<br />
I knew that boarding that plane from France to Rwanda was<br />
going to be the biggest sacrifice of my life, because I was also<br />
not sure what awaited me. Had I not conceived, maybe I would<br />
have walked away from it all. However, at that time, the game<br />
plan had changed. Go I had to and go I went. My only hope and<br />
security was the child I carried. Patrick’s family did not mind the<br />
baby. I knew they had accepted the child and wanted to keep it.<br />
However, I also knew that they didn’t want me as much.<br />
Nevertheless, I accepted to go back to Rwanda for our wedding.<br />
Our plan was to travel, get married and then return to France<br />
and complete school. However, God had other plans<br />
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