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which picked on very well. I stocked it with expensive fabric and<br />
jewelry that appealed to the taste of the middle-class ladies. I<br />
had hired a sales girl whom I supervised every evening after<br />
work. However, the shop did not last six months. Customers<br />
came and bought stuff from my neighbors to the right and left,<br />
but would not enter my shop, and yet I had the best stock.<br />
With time, I could not pay the rent. I had to close the shop.<br />
However, I did not give up. My next plan was to get a loan and<br />
buy a truck. I convinced myself that it would make money by<br />
ferrying merchandise, and return loaded with food for my<br />
children. I bought the truck, which did trade between Rwanda,<br />
Uganda and Tanzania. I got insurance and all necessary<br />
documents for it and hired one of my relatives to drive it.<br />
After three weeks, he drove to Tanzania and disappeared there.<br />
Almost 20 years later, I have never seen him again. I later learnt<br />
that he dismantled the truck and sold its spare parts. I tried to<br />
confront his sister, who was living with me then, but she totally<br />
denied having had any involvement in the vandalism. I decided<br />
to report the matter to Interpol, but whenever I went there to<br />
follow up the case, I was always told they had not found the<br />
truck or its driver.<br />
That was it for me. In panic, I went and confided in a pastor<br />
friend of mine. He laughed at me and said, “The mistake is yours.<br />
You have been trying God. He told you to arise and serve Him.<br />
He did not ask you to arise with money.” I was dumbfounded.<br />
With that, never again did I try to start a business or find an<br />
alternative source of income. I learnt the hard way that I had to<br />
trust God for providence. I let it go. Everyone looked at me like<br />
I was crazy when I resigned with no major savings. Now, I myself<br />
was utterly baffled at my own life. I wondered why I was going<br />
through all this. I questioned my identity. I could not understand<br />
my life. To date I still wonder what the purpose of all this was.<br />
However, one thing was certain, God was calling me to a life of<br />
humility, obedience and complete trust in Him. With all I had<br />
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