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If there was anything Patrick longed for at that time, it was reconciliation between him and his parents. When his father made this offer, Patrick saw it as a perfect opportunity to make amends. It was too tempting to turn down. He took it up and worked there for two months as the Managing Director of the company. In the course of executing his duties, he travelled to Spain and Italy often, leaving me in Kigali. I began to feel like things were going to work out after all. I began to hope again and attempted to smile again. Maybe, just maybe, we were going to make it. Meanwhile, after the wedding, in a kind gesture, Patrick’s father had given us free accommodation, something we were thankful for. It was almost unbelievable that this was the same man who had wanted my head dead or alive. What had changed? How could it be that the man who sent spies and security agents in France to have me deported or possibly killed was here giving his son and I a house? It was all confusing and a little too good to be true. We stayed in one of the quarters adjacent to the main house where Patrick’s father and the rest of the family lived. Patrick’s father had given him this house even before we met. We heaved sighs of relief, feeling like the darkness was lifting after all. We thanked God for my father-in-law’s benevolence. He had given my husband a job and a house to live in. What more would anyone want? We set our sights on building ourselves and hoped for the best. The very best. However, the more we hoped and prayed for the best, living one day at a time, the further away the best apparently eluded us. It appeared like during the two to three months after our grim wedding, God was allowing us some breathing space to “honeymoon” as he prepared us for the more vicious fire we were about to plunge headlong into. 22
HATED FOR LOVING Another three months passed, at the end of which I was six months pregnant. One morning Patrick reported to work as usual, only to find a letter relieving him of his duties as Managing Director of his father’s company. There was no reason or explanation whatsoever as to why he was being fired. His father had signed this unexpected and undesirable letter. No words can explain the shock that hit my husband’s soul. He was confused, crushed and in great despair. Patrick returned home immediately on the verge of tears. While trying to catch his breath and with his hands trembling, he showed me the letter. “I have been sacked,” he said. In a flash, in a twinkle of a moment, my fragile world that I was struggling to piece together came crushing down before my eyes — again! I could not believe what my ears were hearing. I could not perceive it precisely. I was dumbfounded. Patrick and I stood there, frozen. After our wedding, we were attempting to leave that unpleasant past behind and start again, only to be hit by this wave. As I stared at my husband’s termination letter, all the dreams I had ever possessed in my soul faded. This could not be happening to me. I wished someone could wake me up from the bad dream. We were so helpless, at that moment, we literally became the wretched of the earth. We did not know the source 23
Page 2 and 3: i
Page 4 and 5: Unless otherwise stated, the script
Page 6 and 7: To the Lord God Almighty, without w
Page 8 and 9: PREFACE When I think about my roots
Page 10 and 11: was I able to know the true value o
Page 12 and 13: forgiveness of my sin. I thank God
Page 14 and 15: I started school, but because my fa
Page 16 and 17: ight there and there was no wasting
Page 18 and 19: and social support during this time
Page 20 and 21: It is unfortunate that some people
Page 22 and 23: us. Now, here I was putting the liv
Page 24 and 25: of trust, people will look at you f
Page 26 and 27: accomplish anything. Hiding was lik
Page 28 and 29: happening, this verse and many othe
Page 30 and 31: THE SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE In accor
Page 32 and 33: When I landed in Kigali, my fears s
Page 36 and 37: of my father in-law’s despicable
Page 38 and 39: We were stuck. We were not going an
Page 40 and 41: abominable thing and married from t
Page 42 and 43: surrounded by my family and my husb
Page 44 and 45: place we called home, with no runni
Page 46 and 47: eturned to pick Justine and I befor
Page 48 and 49: were poor and hopeless and for one
Page 50 and 51: starved and stayed in those oppress
Page 52 and 53: the moment when being dead definite
Page 54 and 55: Uganda because the social system in
Page 56 and 57: elatives. Many of these people were
Page 58 and 59: THE AFTERMATH I was formerly a Cath
Page 60 and 61: I neither had the papers no the exp
Page 62 and 63: to take charge of my life and move
Page 64 and 65: knew about it and warned Patrick. H
Page 66 and 67: UNSHACKLED In 1997, three years aft
Page 68 and 69: foundation that is not based on the
Page 70 and 71: God’s voice and understand His wi
Page 72 and 73: When we realize that only God can f
Page 74 and 75: my thoughts than your thoughts,”
Page 76 and 77: Bible says we did not choose Him, b
Page 78 and 79: of the weight that Jesus had to bea
Page 80 and 81: towards me, and that He had saved m
Page 82 and 83: PEACE OF MIND AND THE BUMPY ROAD TO
Page 84 and 85:
Romans 8:6-7 says, “The mind of a
Page 86 and 87:
and that he was the only enemy I ha
Page 88 and 89:
had also been broken a million time
Page 90 and 91:
seen, I decided to surrender to God
Page 92 and 93:
peace. It is indeed something that
Page 94:
Forgiveness helps us focus on this
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