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I had not let the light of God’s word shine through my heart to<br />
reveal the dark spots therein.<br />
I sat there, crying in repentance and hopelessness. Just then, a<br />
grey-headed old man, who I had never seen and never got to see<br />
again after that, came to me and repeated exactly what God had<br />
told me. “God has told me to tell you that He wants to forgive<br />
you and do you good.” It was then that I started thinking that<br />
maybe I could partly be responsible for my own misery. I knew<br />
I could not possibly be totally innocent. Humanly speaking,<br />
there was no way I could have suffered all that and come<br />
through blameless. To begin with, I had a very twisted definition<br />
of forgiveness. If anyone really angered me, I walked away and<br />
left them the way they were and said nothing to them. That is<br />
what I called forgiveness. I did not know that forgiveness<br />
actually profits the person who gives it. I left that place<br />
acknowledging how wrong I had been. It was at that point that I<br />
decided to forgive all those who had made me suffer, and the<br />
ones who were still against me. This decision was going to be<br />
the hardest I will ever make in my life on earth. After all these<br />
years of accumulated treachery and pain, would I make it<br />
through? I left the prayer mountain hungry and thirsty, ready to<br />
ask<br />
whoever hurt me for forgiveness and also to let them know that<br />
I had forgiven them. I made an effort to personally approach<br />
every one of them that came to my mind. There were very many<br />
people to approach, but I decided to start with my husband. I<br />
can say that that was the best thing I ever did because that is<br />
how he came to know the Lord Jesus. When I asked for his<br />
forgiveness, he did the same. My aim, however, was to first let<br />
those that hurt me know that I had released them and whenever<br />
I did that, I felt that I too, had been released and healed. Before<br />
I knew it, I was talking to people. Eventually, I started getting a<br />
burden for anyone who wronged me. I would empathize with<br />
them. It also opened my eyes to the great of God my Father, and<br />
to the saving power of Jesus His Son. So massive was the reality<br />
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