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of the weight that Jesus had to bear not just for me, but for the entire world. When He gave the sacrifice, He gave us one command – to love one another the way He loved us. At this point, I started to understand what this meant. I discovered that we have one enemy – Satan – whose only mission is to steal, kill and destroy. I could now stand in that gap, not thinking carnally, but in the spirit. I understood the persecution that Jesus endured, how they hated and plotted against Him even when He was innocent. I was reminded of the scripture that says, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (John 15:18). I was encouraged, knowing that nothing happens without a reason. I continued to share hope with everyone, assuring them of God’s goodness, no matter what their situation was. That is when I searched my inner man and found that our thoughts determine what happens to us. Thoughts can eventually get us behind bars, get us released or even get us killed. I discovered that my thoughts had got me into this spiritual prison I had been in. Romans 8:6 states that a carnal heart cannot please God. I had lived with a carnal heart even as a servant of God. I outwardly appeared righteous, but the inner man is what God looks at (1 Samuel 16:7). We have a choice to make between nurturing what God wants and what we want. God’s choice is always the best, but we cannot nurture it if we do not know it. I was glad that God had given me the privilege of knowing His choice. I made the choice based on the word of God and the leading of His Spirit. As Christians, the fruit we bear on the outside is dependent on what our inner man is fed on. If we feed the inner man on hatred, the fruit thereof will be hatred. I decided to do my best to feed my inner man with good. I realized that that was the making of a true Christian, one who walks the way God expects him or her to. My next mission was to tell as many people as possible so that they could make their own decision based on the word they hear, just like it is written in Romans 10:17, which says, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” I could 66
not clearly see God’s love and acts of mercy towards me during my days of torment, even though He had intervened on various occasions. I was still blind and thought that He must have abandoned me. However, when I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my deliverer, the knowledge that God still cared and had a good plan for me flooded my soul. I could feel life begin to flow in me, despite all the difficult times I had been going through. I love Jesus because when you surrender your soul to Him and allow Him to lead your life, everything settles in harmony with Him. He intervened at the very last minute and gave me power and encouragement. He gave me extreme happiness over the difficulties that had engulfed me. He gave me calmness over gossip, lies and betrayal, and over all the scorners. Taking one step at a time, I began a deep and fulfilling relationship with Him. However, just because I had sought God and had a deeper relationship with him did not mean I was having it easy. Absolutely not! With each passing day, some of the hardships worsened. I tried to defend myself as a human being looking for a solution. I found no other refuge except having strength in Jesus Christ alone. He was my fortress and hope during those trying years. I learned that when you have divine protection, man’s evil plans cannot harm you. Without that protection, you will be in a dilemma caused by attacks from evil spirits. Just as a soldier does not go to battle without a weapon, you also need God’s power to win life’s battles. When push comes to shove and death stares you in the face, you must confront it with faith - just like queen Esther (in the bible) risked and went to King Xerxes without being summoned (Esther 4:16). It was against the law for her or anyone to go before the king without his permission and she did not know the eventual outcome, but she believed that God would come through for her. And He did! When you accept the Lord Jesus as your Savior, you are automatically under the covenant of the Holy Spirit. God’s favor goes before you and He will intervene in your most perplexing situations. I remembered God’s promises of love and care 67
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Unless otherwise stated, the script
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To the Lord God Almighty, without w
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PREFACE When I think about my roots
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was I able to know the true value o
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forgiveness of my sin. I thank God
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I started school, but because my fa
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ight there and there was no wasting
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and social support during this time
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It is unfortunate that some people
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us. Now, here I was putting the liv
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of trust, people will look at you f
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accomplish anything. Hiding was lik
Page 28 and 29: happening, this verse and many othe
Page 30 and 31: THE SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE In accor
Page 32 and 33: When I landed in Kigali, my fears s
Page 34 and 35: If there was anything Patrick longe
Page 36 and 37: of my father in-law’s despicable
Page 38 and 39: We were stuck. We were not going an
Page 40 and 41: abominable thing and married from t
Page 42 and 43: surrounded by my family and my husb
Page 44 and 45: place we called home, with no runni
Page 46 and 47: eturned to pick Justine and I befor
Page 48 and 49: were poor and hopeless and for one
Page 50 and 51: starved and stayed in those oppress
Page 52 and 53: the moment when being dead definite
Page 54 and 55: Uganda because the social system in
Page 56 and 57: elatives. Many of these people were
Page 58 and 59: THE AFTERMATH I was formerly a Cath
Page 60 and 61: I neither had the papers no the exp
Page 62 and 63: to take charge of my life and move
Page 64 and 65: knew about it and warned Patrick. H
Page 66 and 67: UNSHACKLED In 1997, three years aft
Page 68 and 69: foundation that is not based on the
Page 70 and 71: God’s voice and understand His wi
Page 72 and 73: When we realize that only God can f
Page 74 and 75: my thoughts than your thoughts,”
Page 76 and 77: Bible says we did not choose Him, b
Page 80 and 81: towards me, and that He had saved m
Page 82 and 83: PEACE OF MIND AND THE BUMPY ROAD TO
Page 84 and 85: Romans 8:6-7 says, “The mind of a
Page 86 and 87: and that he was the only enemy I ha
Page 88 and 89: had also been broken a million time
Page 90 and 91: seen, I decided to surrender to God
Page 92 and 93: peace. It is indeed something that
Page 94: Forgiveness helps us focus on this
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