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When I landed in Kigali, my fears started coming to pass. I have never felt that jinxed in all my life like I did that time! It was a case of damned if you will — because I was declared a criminal by the family I was getting married into, and damned if you won’t — because I had a baby coming on the way and I had already accepted Patrick’s proposal. I, therefore, threw all caution to the wind and decided to go. The wedding preparations happened so fast, it was like a bad dream. Before we knew it, the day was upon us. I run short of words trying to explain what the mood was like on our wedding day. It looked and felt more like a funeral than anything else. Never before had I seen a wedding where all the guests were cold, afraid, angry and sad. Everyone who attended was grief-stricken and forlorn. A few people gathered in pairs of two or three and started whispering about the dramatic events they had heard happened in France prior to our return to Rwanda. A few minutes before the ceremony started, tracts had been handed out in the community announcing that our wedding had been canceled and that those who planned to attend needed to find other things to do on that day. An announcement proclaiming the said cancellation of the wedding had been made on the Rwanda national radio to the same effect. Of all the horrors I would have feared to befall me, I did not anticipate that. I always dreamed of a perfect wedding day. Who would not? Looking back, I do not know how that wretched day ended. Can you imagine sitting at your wedding and you hear an announcement on radio that your wedding has been cancelled? It was the most torturous day of my life. As rumors and controversies surrounding our wedding spread throughout the city, Patrick and I braced ourselves for the worst that could happen. We knew it was not going to be easy and so we had to tighten our belts of truth and stand firm. We, however, never got to know who exactly was behind the distribution of the tracts and radio announcement; whether it 20
was Patrick’s family or mine or even other political figures, we will never know. However, in all the gloom and misery that took place that day, the bold step Patrick and I made distinguished us as some of the bravest people of our time. On our wedding day, history was made. In 1992/93, it was extremely rare — practically impossible, as a matter of fact — to hear of a mixed marriage between a Hutu and a Tutsi in Rwanda. Absolutely impossible. According to statistics available then, only one percent of marriages in Rwanda consisted of a union between a Hutu and a Tutsi. What made it all worse was the fact that it happened at the height of the Hutu-Tutsi ethnic rivalry. One, therefore had to be extremely careful about their actions. Although Patrick’s father had agreed to the marriage, he made it clear to him that he would never have a share of his inheritance because what he was about to do was strange and he was responsible for his actions. This was a price too high to pay for both of us and our friends and relatives wondered what compelled us to do this. It was love, we told them. The Bible mentions the three most important and most enduring pillars of life — faith, hope and love, but the greatest is love (1 Corinthians 13:13). We certainly knew that each of us was being seen as a traitor by our families and other people from our ethnicities. The wedding took place in my rural area in Gitarama and the reception was held in Kigali. Security at both functions was extremely tight. We had our college-mates stand by us as matron and best man. The mood was extremely tense and all those who were present expected the worst at any moment – a bullet or even bomb blast. Can you imagine these being the paramount emotions at your wedding, a day that is supposed to be full of love, laughter and joy? Anyhow, the ceremony finally took place. Two months after the wedding, we were preparing to return to France where we had left all our belongings. To our surprise, however, Patrick got a job offer from his father. Patrick’s father owned an import and export company in Rwanda and so he asked his son to manage it because it was being mismanaged and run down by his workers. 21
Page 2 and 3: i
Page 4 and 5: Unless otherwise stated, the script
Page 6 and 7: To the Lord God Almighty, without w
Page 8 and 9: PREFACE When I think about my roots
Page 10 and 11: was I able to know the true value o
Page 12 and 13: forgiveness of my sin. I thank God
Page 14 and 15: I started school, but because my fa
Page 16 and 17: ight there and there was no wasting
Page 18 and 19: and social support during this time
Page 20 and 21: It is unfortunate that some people
Page 22 and 23: us. Now, here I was putting the liv
Page 24 and 25: of trust, people will look at you f
Page 26 and 27: accomplish anything. Hiding was lik
Page 28 and 29: happening, this verse and many othe
Page 30 and 31: THE SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE In accor
Page 34 and 35: If there was anything Patrick longe
Page 36 and 37: of my father in-law’s despicable
Page 38 and 39: We were stuck. We were not going an
Page 40 and 41: abominable thing and married from t
Page 42 and 43: surrounded by my family and my husb
Page 44 and 45: place we called home, with no runni
Page 46 and 47: eturned to pick Justine and I befor
Page 48 and 49: were poor and hopeless and for one
Page 50 and 51: starved and stayed in those oppress
Page 52 and 53: the moment when being dead definite
Page 54 and 55: Uganda because the social system in
Page 56 and 57: elatives. Many of these people were
Page 58 and 59: THE AFTERMATH I was formerly a Cath
Page 60 and 61: I neither had the papers no the exp
Page 62 and 63: to take charge of my life and move
Page 64 and 65: knew about it and warned Patrick. H
Page 66 and 67: UNSHACKLED In 1997, three years aft
Page 68 and 69: foundation that is not based on the
Page 70 and 71: God’s voice and understand His wi
Page 72 and 73: When we realize that only God can f
Page 74 and 75: my thoughts than your thoughts,”
Page 76 and 77: Bible says we did not choose Him, b
Page 78 and 79: of the weight that Jesus had to bea
Page 80 and 81: towards me, and that He had saved m
Page 82 and 83:
PEACE OF MIND AND THE BUMPY ROAD TO
Page 84 and 85:
Romans 8:6-7 says, “The mind of a
Page 86 and 87:
and that he was the only enemy I ha
Page 88 and 89:
had also been broken a million time
Page 90 and 91:
seen, I decided to surrender to God
Page 92 and 93:
peace. It is indeed something that
Page 94:
Forgiveness helps us focus on this
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