THE ACCOUNTANT_AUTUMN_2018_VER-7-L

FEATURE
attention to what other people are telling us,
observing their non-verbal behaviours and noting
their emotions. It also involves the ability to make
sure we really understand what the other person
is saying by paraphrasing, summarising and asking
the right questions that clarify, probe and elicit
elaboration. Effective listening makes other people
feel validated and valued. It also reassures them that
we are taking them seriously and are really focusing
on what they have to say.
Empathy: This is primarily an attitude of
understanding the points of view, feelings, opinions
and perception of others. However, it is also a
skill in that our empathic attitude needs to be
communicated to the other person. This is done by
accurately reflecting both the gist of what the other
person is saying, as well as the emotions that we pick
up from them. Of course, this is only possible if we
can give the other person our undivided attention
and listen deeply. Empathy has a strong impact on
others by making them feel understood and heard,
and often diffuses intense feelings of anger and
frustration.
Giving Feedback: Another critical skill for career
success is the ability to give feedback in a
constructive non-threatening way. When people
receive candid, honest and sensitively-given
feedback, they feel that they know where they stand
in relation to their performance. This understanding
can then help them change, refine or maintain their
behaviour accordingly. Constructive feedback is
an essential motivational tool that leaders need to
master. It involves reinforcing and acknowledging
good performance and behaviour as well as having
courageous conversations that point out areas for
improvement and development.
strong emotions and then learn how to express those
emotions appropriately.
Managing Conflict and Disagreement: Conflict and
disagreements are inevitable between people who
are working or living together. However, conflictridden
relationships can be a source of great distress
and frustration. The skill of resolving conflicts
between two people or within a group requires all
the skills mentioned so far. However, it also includes
the ability to help conflicting parties listen to each
other, find common ground, identify the real point
of divergence and come to a compromise, or a
synergised solution. People who feel it is safe to
disagree and engage in conflict without the fear of
it spiralling out of control and becoming personal,
are freer to express themselves and speak up. This
is critical for the growth and success of a business,
service or team as it allows new ideas can be proposed
more freely and creative systems or procedures to be
tried out and tested.
These are a few of the intrapersonal and relational
skills needed in leadership and when working with
people in general. They can be learned, practiced
and integrated into one’s behavioural repertoire
that becomes internalised and second nature to
us. This can be achieved through coaching, reading,
training and experimentation with new behaviours.
In the technical corporate world, the importance of
these competencies tends to be underestimated,
yet research repeatedly shows that they are critical
determinants of success and effectiveness in leading,
managing and dealing with people.
Assertiveness: This is a relational skill that strikes
that difficult balance between coming across as being
too forceful or too accommodating. Assertiveness is
important in responding to the multiple challenges
that present themselves to us in our work especially
when interacting with clients and colleagues. When
we communicate assertively people do not feel
intimidated or apprehensive as a result of their
interactions with us. They are also discouraged from
taking advantage and losing respect for us because
we are not overly accommodating. Assertiveness
is also a key Emotional Intelligence competency
as it requires, first, the ability to internally manage
56 Autumn 2018