The Vegas Voice February 2020

46
6
February 2020
In Celebration of Valentine’s Day
By: Bill Caserta / Bill’s Blurbs
Only a Dream: After she woke up,
a woman told her husband, “I just
dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace
for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it
means?” “You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening the husband came home with a
small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it….to
find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”
Thoughtful Husband No. 1: I asked my friend if he’d bought his
wife a gift for Valentine’s Day. He surprised me when he replied, “Yeah,
I’ve got her a belt and a bag.”
I said, “That’s very thoughtful of you. I hope she appreciates it.”
He said, “So do I. And hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work much
better now.”
Thoughtful Husband No. 2: My wife just called me lazy and said
I’d better have something planned for Valentine’s Day.
I said, “Yes, I was thinking of taking the Christmas decorations
down.”
Thoughtful Husband No. 3: This year I’ve got my wife a
Valentine’s Day present that will really take her breath away. A treadmill.
Thoughtful boyfriend: Last Valentine’s Day, my fiancé of four
years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $5 million. I wonder what’s
she doing nowadays?
Valentine’s Advice for Men: If your woman says, “Do what you
want” - DO NOT do what you want. Stand still, do not blink and don’t
even breathe. Just play dead.
And Finally: What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55
steak? February 14th.
Bill Caserta is the Project Director for The Vegas Voice and
has a very “unique” sense of humor. He welcomes all funny
submissions at: bill@thevegasvoice.net.