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GET OUT AND ABOUT<br />
Venturing to baby classes can<br />
make the world of difference.<br />
We love Hoop, a savvy app that<br />
shows what’s going on near you.<br />
FIND YOUR TRIBE<br />
Apps like Peanut and Mush are<br />
great for finding local parents<br />
near you.<br />
YOU CAN’T DO IT ALL<br />
Acknowledging how the people<br />
around you can support you<br />
doesn’t make you a bad parent!<br />
SPEAK TO YOUR GP<br />
If your low mood persists, do<br />
seek medical advice. Help is<br />
available with things such as<br />
talking therapy or medication.<br />
My one job seemed to be to feed<br />
him and help him grow; yet, at the<br />
time, I didn’t feel capable of that.<br />
Not every baby grows in a<br />
uniform way, and the same<br />
goes for things like sleep and<br />
development milestones.<br />
Cat Price, founder of organic<br />
cotton muslin brand Pattie & Co<br />
says: “My partner and I had real<br />
problems with pressure around<br />
my son’s sleep. You read books<br />
and get advice telling you what to<br />
expect at certain stages, but it just<br />
left me feeling as though we were<br />
doing something wrong, because<br />
our son just didn’t do what other<br />
babies seemed to do. It took a real<br />
toll on my mental health.”<br />
“External markers can add a lot<br />
of pressure for parents,” explains<br />
Dr Svanberg. “Letting go of these<br />
feels difficult, but there are other<br />
ways to feel confident as a parent.”<br />
Cat did learn to do this in time.<br />
“Eventually we decided to just<br />
accept the situation and stop<br />
trying to ‘fix it’; we were all much<br />
happier from then,” she explains.<br />
THE ‘L’ WORD<br />
It’s important to acknowledge that<br />
the first few weeks and months<br />
can feel incredibly lonely; with<br />
some struggling to transition<br />
from a busy 9-to-5 and hectic<br />
social life, to days on end indoors<br />
with just a very tiny human for<br />
company.<br />
Says Dr Svanberg: “As a society,<br />
we offer so little support to new<br />
parents at a time where many<br />
people live far from family. I see<br />
many women who feel a personal<br />
sense of responsibility about their<br />
feelings of loneliness.”<br />
“I suffered extreme isolation<br />
after my daughter’s birth,” explains<br />
Helen, “which led me to creating<br />
the community website Mummy’s<br />
Gin Fund. My aim is to make sure<br />
no one feels lonely.”<br />
It’s not just new mums who can<br />
feel alone. “Many dads struggle<br />
to bond with their baby, and<br />
experience a sense of isolation<br />
because they can’t be as fully<br />
involved with parenting as<br />
mothers,” explains Han Son Lee,<br />
founder of Daddilife, the UK’s<br />
largest online platform for dads.<br />
The fact is, we’re all in this<br />
together – no matter what our<br />
circumstances. It’s about time we<br />
acknowledged that things don’t<br />
have to be perfect to be right, and<br />
that there’s no unilateral way of<br />
doing things. With support from<br />
each other, things run a little more<br />
smoothly. So, reach out, be there<br />
for others, and together we can<br />
make that fourth trimester that<br />
much easier.<br />
Jenna is a freelance journalist who<br />
specialises in perinatal mental and<br />
gut health. She has Crohn’s disease,<br />
and blogs at abalancedbelly.co.uk<br />
30 • happiful.com • <strong>May</strong> <strong>2020</strong>
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