2020_06_Blues_Final_Reduced

exit ramp
Finding Love
in a Pandemic
Drastic times call for drastic measures—like diving
headlong into a new relationship. By Shelby Vittek
When Covid-19 made its
way to New Jersey in
mid-March, I was several
weeks into dating a new guy. I met
Hayden on a dating app, and we had
only been on a handful of dates in
Jersey City (where I live) and Brooklyn
(where he lives). Then came the lockdown.
Suddenly, we were faced with an
ultimatum: Would we shelter in place
together, or separately?
“I guess quarantine is a great time
to find out if you’re compatible or not,”
Hayden joked. He had a point, but I was
worried. Not seeing each other for an
indefinite period of time might abruptly
end what seemed like a really good
thing. But would spending all our time
together during a pandemic turn out to
be a disaster?
Having lived alone for the past seven
years, I am unaccustomed to having a
roommate, let alone sharing my space
with a romantic partner. Still, these are
different times.
We dove right in. Within 24 hours,
the relationship went from third date to
unofficially living together. My friends
told me I was absolutely nuts; I secretly
shared their concern.
Six weeks later, Hayden and I have
adjusted to our new way of life. It was
unusual, figuring out cohabitation
while also navigating a new relationship.
But so far, so good. We started
working from home in tandem, Hayden
at his desktop computer, me on my
laptop at a folding table he set up in his
room. (I eventually moved my “office”
to his absent roommate’s room.) Every
weekday, we pause for lunch together.
At the end of the workday, we migrate
downstairs to make dinner, moving
around the kitchen in sync. Hayden
almost always done the dishes, even if
he’s also does most of the cooking.
We’ve nurtured our relationship
without the usual date options: no
meeting up with friends at bars, no
going out for dinner, no shows or
concerts. With the outside world
closed, we have found entertainment
elsewhere. There was a virtual double
date with my friends in North Carolina.
We used Zoom and FaceTime to meet
each other’s families, staes away. We
use gaming apps like Houseparty and
Jackbox to video chat and play games
with our friends. But mostly, we spend
quality time together, and our relationship
has grown into something official—
something serious.
When we do go out—for groceries,
wine and beer—we don our masks and
clutch our hand sanitizer. On weekends,
we drive back to my apartment to do
laundry, traversing a deserted downtown
Manhattan and holding hands in the Holland
Tunnel until we emerge in Jersey.
The coronavirus pandemic has kept
most people apart. For Hayden and
me, it’s had the opposite effect. Life
together is shockingly good. It feels
normal, even though the world outside
is anything but.
ILLUSTRATION: TRINA DALZIEL
72 JUNE 2020 NJMONTHLY.COM