Happiful June 2020

When I was reliving the past,
I learned mindfulness tools to
bring me back to the present
to listen to my feelings,
and acknowledged my
behaviours and thoughts.
Where my thoughts were
negative, I looked for the
positives. When I was
reliving the past, I learned
mindfulness tools to bring
me back to the present.
When my feelings became
uncontrollable, I practised
breathing skills to allow
me to be more in control
and focused.
I had to retrain myself
to make sure I got up
in the morning, made
the bed, ate breakfast,
lunch and dinner. The
days I didn’t want to do
anything, I made myself
get out. Some days, even
opening a letter was a
chore, so I gave myself
praise for all the things
that I was doing. I stood
in front of the mirror
and gave myself positive
affirmations, and slowly I
started to cope better.
During this journey I
was inspired by others:
friends who would help
with practical things, such
as making me a sandwich,
and allowing me to talk;
the community helping
people feel valued by
placing painted stones
with positive messages
in public gardens; and
donations of a bench to
encourage people to sit.
I found books helpful,
and was inspired by
those who shared their
story. In October 2019,
I felt strong enough to
publish my story, Forever
Young. Through sharing
my personal experience,
I hope to support others
who have been affected
by suicide, and help break
the stigma.
While grieving the loss
of my son, I learned
how important talking
and taking care of
myself has been to my
recovery. To do this
sincerely, I had to show
myself love, kindness,
and forgiveness. There
are support services out
there, but with limited
resources, I learned selfhelp
techniques I could
use until they became
available. I finally learned
that I didn’t have to be on
my own.
OUR EXPERT SAYS
Sharon was in a cycle of
despair and uncontrolled
emotions after her son
took his own life. She used
unhelpful coping behaviours
as she struggled to accept
his death, and felt stuck.
Yet as she allowed herself
to accept help, and began to
understand her feelings, she
offered herself compassion.
And, in turn, things changed;
she started to take better
care of herself. When we’re
struggling, it’s important
to use our support
networks, as
they help us on
our journey to
recovery.
Graeme Orr | MBACP (Accred) UKRCP
Reg Ind counsellor
June 2020 • happiful.com • 89