Dori Szabo: Fly To Paris Fashion AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2021 16

emotionally sense and feel all the
pain of others in my own body
like constant thorns. I came to the
conclusion that it was hard and
painful to be me.
I tried to fit in and pretend to
be someone other than who I was
for a long time but in the end, it
led me on a path of more pain
and suffering. Denying my unique
gift as a healer was dishonoring to
who I am at the core of my being.
Trying to be like others instead of
giving myself permission to be me
create a feeling of claustrophobia
that was strangling my creativity
and keeping me playing small. I
didn’t want to stand out or make
anyone feel inferior. I didn’t want to
outshine others, because I didn’t
want them to feel bad; yet at the
same time, I was trying to prove my
worthiness and follow my dream
to save the world. Growing up I
wanted to save others more than
I wanted to save myself. It was a
constant internal tug-of-war that
used up so much of my energy it