Focus on the Family Magazine - April/May 2022

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Amy Lively explains how to cultivate
community and share the love of
Christ with your neighbors.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
“Hi, Mr. Preston,” she said.
“Hi, Ava! Thanks for holding the door
open for me.”
Ava’s family members aren’t
Christians. One of the best ways we
can rebuild the impression Ava’s parents
have of Jesus is by welcoming
their children as He would.
I’m grateful Jesus has a special place
in His heart for children because children
don’t judge the cleanliness of
our houses. If anything, they judge the
openness of our homes.
Interest
Years ago, when my family and I first
moved to Denver, I was talking with
one of our neighbors who was walking
his dog. But really, I wasn’t all that
interested in what he did for a living.
Like an overzealous church planter,
I couldn’t wait to tell him that we were
starting a local faith community.
“So what do you do?” he finally asked.
“We moved here to start a church,”
I told him.
His eyes glazed over. “A church?” He
gave a light tug on the leash to indicate
to his resting dog that the conversation
was over. It was time to leave.
I’ve replayed that exchange numerous
times in my head. Every time, I’m
reminded that I was so excited to talk
about myself that it kept me from getting
to know him better.
People can tell when we are generally
interested in them. To seem more interested
in people, we have to be more
interested in them. To seem curious, we
have to be curious. To look as if we’re
listening, we have to actually listen.
One of the ways to keep neighbors
in the conversation is resisting the
temptation to talk about ourselves too
much or give unsolicited opinions.
Conversations are supposed to be how
we continue relationships, not how we
end them. Disagreements don’t have
to result in a break in the relationship,
just a break in the conversation.
Perhaps one of Jesus’ most intriguing
personality traits was that He asked
questions. He was always listening to
His Father and to those around Him.
My daughter Piper’s third grade
teacher lives across the street from us.
Her son, James, is one of Piper’s best
friends. Although James and his family
are not Christians, we have seen them
have an increasing interest in Jesus’
way of living. The impromptu driveway
talks, random dinner parties and intentional
conversations have created a safe
space for them to explore Jesus. And
whether they ever think like us will not
determine our commitment to them. •
Preston Ulmer is the founder and director of the
Doubters’ Club, an organization that teaches
people, regardless of their beliefs, to be kind to
one another and pursue truth together. He’s also
the director of the Church Multiplication Network,
the church planting arm of the Assemblies of
God and the author of The Doubters’ Club.
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
APRIL / MAY 2022