Welcome to The Club Spring 2023

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Welcome to ...THE ClubThank you for continuing to shop locally!Welcome to ...SPRING 2023If you can’t thinkof a word,say “I forgot the Englishword for it.”That way people willthink you’re bilingualinstead of an idiot.• Manicures • Pedicures • Waxing• Cosmetic Injections (Botox & Fillers)• Electrolysisa getaway from the everyday635 Broadway StreetWYOMING226-307-0772Green County EbikesandMobility ScootersNew • UsedParts • Sales • ServiceFinancing AvailableEbike &Mobility ScooterBatteriesAlso Sundays in Grand Bendat Pinery Antique Flea Market638 Broadway Street, Wyoming • 519.333.8313 • www.greencountyebikes.comTUES. TO FRI.9AM - 5PMThe Joys of Aging!• Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put onclothes and leave the house.• It's weird being the same age as old people.• It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.• Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leadsto slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.So remember… don't sing!• I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.• I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humoursuggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'mnot dead yet.• You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and thentry to get back up.• We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot moreinformation in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.• My bucket list: Keep breathing.• Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done (and why someof us so carefully avoid it.)• I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!• At my funeral, take the bouquet from mycoffin and throw it into the crowd to seewho is next.• Retirement To Do List: Wake up.Nailed it!• Went to an antique auction andpeople were bidding on me.• I won't say I'm worn out, but I don'tget near the curb on trash day.• I don't have grey hair, I havewisdom highlights.• I came, I saw, I forgot what I wasdoing. Retraced my steps. Gotlost on the way back. Now Ihave no idea what's going on.P A G E8Give more compliments - for anything, to anyone.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.Welcome to ...THE ClubGrowingA GreenerCommunity,One TreeAt A TimeWYOMING’SHEALTH FOODSTORE & REFILLERY15% OFFEvery Day forSeniors (65+)647 Broadway Street, Wyoming226-307-0694 • suncoastnaturalhealth.caFARM FRESH ARTISAN GOAT CHEESESENIORS 10% OFF (65+)Contact Us: 519-845-0847info@wyomingtreeservice.caGLUTEN FREE • LOW LACTOSESPECIALTY FOODS AS WELL569 BROADWAY ST, WYOMING • 519-845-1613A Dog Called St. Clem byWhen I was too small to know what ablacksmith did besides shoe horses andfix things, I knew that the patron saint ofblackmiths was St. Clement, and that hewas born on November the 23rd.Dad, at this time was a blacksmith andhe used to talk to St. Clement when he wasshoeing an obstreperous horse. Later henamed the stray airedale that came to hisshop, Clement, after the saint. We nevercalled the dog anything but Clem, but Dadalways said Clement - he never shortenedhis name. Dad would say Clement the dogwatched over him as much as Clement theSaint did, but I wouldn’t know, becauseClem always went to work with Dad andcame home with him.I never saw him actually watch anyone;he was always sleeping, that is until mybaby sister was learning to walk. At thattime he offered his sturdy body for herto hang on to, and walked through thehouse with her clutching his fur, keepingher away from anything that she mightbump in to. When she had mastered theart of walking, Clem went back to his oldsleeping habit.I remember once, somewhere around1925, Dad telling Mom about two menwho came into the shop, intent on stealinghis anvil; they probablythought they could sell itfor junk. Jobs were scarcein those days, and maybethey needed the moneyit would bring. Dadtackled the men andwhen Clem saw that he neededhelp, sprang into action. Dadsaid the hackles on Clem’s neck rose likea porcupine’s quills and the snarl on hisface would have scared a lion. The menleft in a hurry.I didn’t know what hackles were, butwhat a delightful word it was to roll aroundon my three year old tongue. I didn’t knowwhat an anvil was either, but when myDad died sixty-five years later and left it tomy husband, it took two very strong mento lift it. Mainly because it was still boltedto the hundred pound hardwood stump ithad been attached to for so many years. Iwonder how the would-be thieves plannedon taking it away.Once I heard my grandmother say,“What a saint of a dog.” That was thetime some clothing hanging over the fireguard blazed up and Clem woke us withhis barking. Of course, my older sisterimmediately started calling him St. Clem.623 Broadway St., Wyoming • 519-845-9915 • VillageFireplaceShop.comDoris M. Johnston • from Daytripping July-Aug 2002When he dug up Grandma’s rhubarbplants, Grandma had another namefor him, something not quite ascomplimentary. Mom frowned onus using bad language,so weweren’t allowed to renamehim Imbecilic Galoot, butI sang those words over tomyself until the next day whenI forgot them.When Dad changed jobs a few yearslater, he had an awful time convincingClem that he was not welcome at his newplace of employment. He followed Dadwhenever he could sneak out the door.After being brought home several timesand being soundly scolded, he decidedthat his job was to guard the street welived on. Clem never crossed the roadbut went around the block whipping thetar out of any dog his own size or largerthat was foolish enough to remain whereClem could see him. He didn’t bothersmaller dogs and he was in awe of cats,but still Dad got lots of complaints fromthe nearby neighbours, which he ignored,firmly believing that Clem was a Saint asGrandma had called him.The only time that Dad was truly crosswith him was when my aunt made donutsand Clem, with a sixth sense,or or a goodsense of smell trotted over to visit. Onthese occasions, Dad had to go over andbring him back. “If Lizzie would stopfeeding him, Clement wouldn’t go over.”Dad would grumble.It was on one of these “donut times”that St. Clem met his Waterloo. Walkingback home with Dad, his tummy filledwith donuts, he was set upon by a dog sixtimes his size (that’s what Dad said) andmauled unmercifully before he could berescued. Dad carried the bleeding bodyback home, where Mom nursed him backto health, but St. Clem never recovered.He had been beaten on his own turf, hisdignity had been hurt beyond recall. Henever patrolled the block again and theonly time he had donuts was when AuntLizzie brought them over to him. Hisheadquarters were the front steps andhe never moved until Dad came homeat night. Then he would go down to thesidewalk to greet his master, come intothe house with him, and remain at his sideuntil nature called and he had to go out fora few minutes before bedtime.When he died two years later, still verymuch a “homebody,” Dad helped us buryhim, and in his little workshop, made amarker. The inscription on it alleviated ourgrief somewhat. Dad had printed. “Herelies St. Clem. A good dog.”663 Broadway StreetWyoming, ON N0N 1T0519-845-3212beth@bethhackettins.caMARLEY PHARMACY600 0Y Years of fS Service i to oWyoWyoming o &Th The Surrounding S o uni Community!C i!“Where Good Friends Meet!”Physician Consultsavailable through ourVIRTUALWALK-IN CLINICCall us for detailsGreat Local ServiceAUTO • HOME • FARM • INSURANCE• Compounding Service• Rapid COVID Tesng607 Broadway Street, Wyoming 519-845-3341SPRING 2023 The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. P A G E 9
Page 1 and 2: Welcome to ...THEA GUIDE TO BEING O
Page 3 and 4: This FREE magazine is distributed i
Page 5 and 6: We’re all getting older, we may a
Page 7: Most articles in here have been wri
Page 11 and 12: Maybe we should stop it with the el
Page 13 and 14: As you may have guessed by now, it
Page 15 and 16: Putting the “old” back in “Da
Page 17 and 18: It’s the advertising that makes t
Page 19 and 20: Many of the articles are from the a
Page 21 and 22: You’re welcome to send in article
Page 23 and 24: There’s no cost for non-profits g
Page 25 and 26: We’d love to hear from you - 519-
Page 27 and 28: Our next issue will come out around
Page 29 and 30: If your business caters to people 4
Page 31 and 32: Please tell our advertisers that yo
Page 33 and 34: Sometimes, no news really is good n
Page 35 and 36: You’re not getting older, you’r
Page 37 and 38: Let’s grow old together. You go f
Page 39 and 40: Retirement To-Do List: Wake up! Nai
Page 41 and 42: My Bucket List: Keep breathing!Seni
Page 43: Thanks again - keep this copy or pa

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