Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2023

KIDS & TEENS / RESILIENCY
My job isn’t to shame my kids.
Discipline? Sure. Correct behavior?
Absolutely. But more than that, it’s to
lift their eyes to our Savior who took
on all their fears and failures, mistakes
and mess-ups. Jesus gave them a better
identity amid their getting it wrong
than they could ever earn with all their
efforts to get it right.
I want my children to fail big, beautifully,
fast and often. Does that sound
crazy? Maybe. But it’s because I also
want them to succeed. To win. To be
the best version of themselves. And
along the way, they’ll gain a certain
resilience that only comes from failing.
Let’s do this thing
I’m always going to be my kids’ biggest
hype man. You want to change
the world? You’ve got this. You’re probably
going to get it wrong a good bit
along the way, but your mom and I are
going to be cheering you on, helping
you stand when you fall. We’re going to
challenge you and encourage you and
love you through it all.
It’s often said that the goal of parenting
is to prepare kids for the real
world. Someday they’ll move out and
get jobs and pay bills and take care
of themselves. This objective seems
overly pragmatic to me. I want to
believe the goal is to make sure my
kids feel loved and worthy—like they
matter and can do great things. I want
to raise kids who dream big and then
work hard to make those dreams a
reality. Th i sis preparing them for the
real world. •
Stephen Miller is the author of The Art of
Getting It Wrong and coproduces a popular
YouTube channel with his wife, Amanda,
where they showcase the beauty of
adoption featuring their family of nine.
Top row (l to r): Penelope,
Jude, Reese and Keira
Bottom row (l to r): Lincoln,
Stephen, Amanda,
Liam and Ethan
THE ART OF GETTING
IT WRONG
by Stephen Miller
Stephen explores what it means to
turn failures, mishaps and disappointments
into a life of fulfillment.
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16 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA JUNE / JULY 2023