1642734778_punk-57-pdf

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If you’re reading this, then hopefully that means you finished the book.And if that’s the case, then I’m very glad.Punk 57 was a different book to write, and a difficult one. We romancereaders can be very hard on our heroines. We often see ourselves in thoseroles and compare their decisions to the decisions we would’ve madeinstead. We tend to judge them more harshly than we do the heroes, becausewe hold them to the same expectation we hold ourselves. This is why manyheroines are often innocent, timid, and kind with good hearts. Seeing thosewomen find their power is a fun journey. They’re easy to love.Ryen, on the other hand, was not. Especially in the first few chapters.Knowing this, of course I was very scared. I only hoped you’d stickwith her long enough to see her come around and eventually be proud ofher.Ryen’s need for recognition, adoration, and inclusion echoes with us all.We see it all the time. No kid wants to be different. They want to belong,they desire the approval of others, and they, most often, aren’t yet mentallystrong enough to be able to stand alone. As we get older, though, most of usdevelop that capability. We learn that nothing feels better than truly loving
yourself, even if it means those around you do not. We joyously find thatwe just don’t give a damn anymore.And it feels pretty great.But most of us have done things—unfair things—in the name of selfpreservation.That’s the story I wanted to tell. Ryen hating who she was,trying to be different and trying to find a way for people to finally see her,but then discovering that she hates herself even more. Lying to yourselfnever moves you forward.Thank you for reading, and thank you for (hopefully) finishing the story.And to anyone out there who might’ve related to what some of thecharacters went through—just remember: it gets better, you are important,and you can’t be replaced.Hang on. You’ll find your tribe.Penelope Douglas
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Penelope DouglasCopyright © 2016 P
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Chapter 20Chapter 21Chapter 22Epilo
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To Claire and Benderand what would
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It’s just that…given all of her
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continue to communicate this way be
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“I’m on my way.” I start the
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enough to jog in the middle of nowh
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“Yessssss.” She bows her head i
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everyone moving about, their laught
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“And you don’t?”I feel his ey
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No, it’s not her. It can’t be.
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“Hi.”I dart my eyes up, my hear
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“Or…” she goes on, sounding a
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But she doesn’t back down or feig
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Before pulling away and saying good
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On the current news front, I got in
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Straightening, I place my hands on
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“I posted my review for Brave New
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chair and snatch up my jean shorts.
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a man.”I lean back in my seat, ca
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A few months ago, a jogger named An
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through the elephant and hot air ba
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have to fake it much around him.The
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himself how awesome he is. Trey Bur
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around the park quickly. Come on!
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“Well, if there is,” I speak lo
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“Go,” I tell Ten, nudging his b
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“Let’s go, ladies!” Coach pou
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“Boo.” Lyla pouts. “That’s
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I toss the smooth, tan fabric at he
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mine.Annoyance pricks at me. Awesom
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that right, Manny?” I call out, k
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Trey tosses another paper, harder t
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“It’s him,” Ten whispers in m
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I drop my pencil to the table and r
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I spin around and walk for Masen, a
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I don’t have to turn around to kn
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I was able to get Pre-Calc done at
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couple of hours afterward. I have a
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I lunge for him.I grab hold of the
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I stare at the word written on the
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probably doesn’t have any money,
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“Can I at least read something wr
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I catch sight of Masen out of the c
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there’s no talking. You’re work
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I look up, shaking my head. “No.
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No one’s talking about it. No one
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Starting it up, he steps on the gas
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Dear Ryen,I hold the pen over the p
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fantasize I kept them? Maybe with a
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But then I see the passenger side d
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“Does she want it back?”I smile
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“Dude, we should get out of here,
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I turn around and walk down the hal
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“And here I thought you ate child
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I widen my eyes, and every muscle i
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hear the pigeons flapping through t
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drawer. The rest of Misha’s lette
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letters have been slowing down over
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I groan inwardly. Yeah, but “Punk
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I turn and see Lyla, looking a litt
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Even Manny is missing, probably hav
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J.D., Lyla, and I stand and watch a
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Masen approaches, and my heartbeat
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I knock his arm away, my stomach ti
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school, so I’m not here for that.
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I should just leave. Walk out the f
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stay out of my way, or I’ll make
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She twists around and takes out the
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Annie’s fabric softener. She was
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An ache lodges in my throat, and I
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I make it back to the school just a
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“Masen, stop!” I hear someone y
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I bite my tongue, too fucking angry
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Don’t change, Ryen wrote in a let
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Trey is nearly forgotten. For the m
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flicks the ring.I groan again, unab
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I lick my lips, feeling the warm me
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I trail my hand across my cheek and
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She nods, her blue eyes smiling at
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I pass the houses and read the numb
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I bring up my hand and rap on the d
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“Can you believe Masen Laurent?
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Masen pushes off the lockers, still
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him.I want to be closer.He presses
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Making sure the girl who got out a
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through, because I wasn’t sure wh
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He hasn’t called me, though.If he
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I run across the school parking lot
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-PunkI smile to myself. Looks like
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Why would I say anything? This is h
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it open, hearing the alarm go off.
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She raises her eyes, looking a litt
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falls into me, and we both tumble t
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She moans, arching her back, and my
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right thing to drive me insane and
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watching her warily. She dresses an
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I didn’t leave any graffiti last
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on to the roll bar and yelling to s
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“I can handle my boyfriend,” sh
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“Well, I guess there’s somethin
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Good in bed? The thought of him enj
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I sift through change, a few receip
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“You can’t, can you?” His voi
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well as a couple next to us.Masen b
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“You are kissing me.”He gnaws m
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And all of a sudden, I’m not worr
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He pushes up one of my knees, openi
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“Just for a minute, okay?” I pl
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I don’t even want to look outside
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I shoot him a nasty look. But then
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I stop.He touches my face, coming i
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trash can.I curl my fingers around
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I reach down, pretending to get som
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shitty.”I stop and turn my eyes o
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Oh, please. I slide in between him
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I’m going to hell. I’m pretty s
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Reaching down, I left the sheet up,
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I groan, my cock straining against
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move and back up into my cock, eage
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trying to come down.I better get ou
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raided Lieber’s Bakery during sch
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I don’t fear Lyla’s judgement a
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I try to act like a badass, but hon
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He takes my phone out of my hand an
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Of course not. Their dog is big but
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I touch his arm. “Masen?” I say
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“What do you think?” he teases.
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all of them? And Sylvie’s the swe
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I don’t know if Ten will stick wi
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it for the morning when I can watch
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It rhymes. Like a song.Alone, Empty
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I’m about to fucking choke, I can
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Everything is dark, not a single li
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I look up at him, wishing he was aw
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I guess I’ll find out.“I’ve b
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These were all letters that were se
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And I immediately feel her.Standing
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about our parents—the decaying he
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“I lied about the people in my li
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“Where were you this morning?”
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I finish getting my things and clos
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“You’re gonna be,” I threaten
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all do that, because we’re sick o
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town for the night, but they didn
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I laugh. I’ve known him long enou
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Malcolm beats through the fill, the
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I pick up my phone and check to see
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called already, just to break it up
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But I turn back around, advancing o
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“I forget,” I answer, still sta
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I guess they would know. A few year
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His friend, Kai, quietly laughs at
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“Yeah?” I turn my eyes back on
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She keeps stride, her beautiful ass
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The next day, he’s not in our fir
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Over here, separated, alone, and ex
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The O.J. sticks to my legs and seep
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Just being near him is soothing at
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He leads me into a spacious bathroo
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Remembering back, I was pretty hard
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with. I could go back. I could be t
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I close my eyes again, hearing what
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“Talk to me,” he whispers. “I
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“Yeah. We were always just friend
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For the rest of the night.
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I’m not sure if he’s going to b
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predators not allowed to be within
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I dart my eyes to the sides, lookin
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picked for sports and often got in
Page 345 and 346: But he just looks over at me, looki
Page 347 and 348: to clean off my arm where thick che
Page 349 and 350: Everyone gets busy eating. J.D. ste
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Page 353 and 354: and energy to be everything she was
Page 355 and 356: “Well, you are the grandson of a
Page 357 and 358: My sister, I think, was just aggrav
Page 359 and 360: feel like Misha’s just doing me a
Page 361 and 362: leading us into the ballroom. The f
Page 363 and 364: I notice Trey lumbering toward her
Page 365 and 366: him to keep going.When did he write
Page 367 and 368: You’re not alone. It gets better.
Page 369 and 370: “Hey, did you see this?” a girl
Page 371 and 372: I turn to Misha, sighing. “You sh
Page 373 and 374: “Sit down.”I prefer to stand, b
Page 375 and 376: She raises her eyes, locking on min
Page 377 and 378: the tops of my knees. “And I want
Page 379 and 380: could’ve, she would’ve. She did
Page 381 and 382: “It’s just bullshit dives and f
Page 383 and 384: “What if she doesn’t even remem
Page 385 and 386: the night off. Go get a date.”Som
Page 387 and 388: father in Thunder Bay, but the nigh
Page 389 and 390: What a baby. He knew when he marrie
Page 391 and 392: Thank you for reading and reviewing
Page 393 and 394: That’s right. I was in the bathro
Page 395: Love,Ryen
Page 399 and 400: Fifty-seven letters I didn’t send
Page 401 and 402: You told us to prepare now and play
Page 403 and 404: HE WON’T BE HERE.There’d be no
Page 405 and 406: applied a little lip gloss. I scurr
Page 407 and 408: What I always wanted to do.To look
Page 409 and 410: shirt, and silver tie. So clean. So
Page 411 and 412: Us? No.Trevor didn’t make my hear
Page 413 and 414: brows that slanted inward, making h
Page 415 and 416: She had texted earlier, saying she
Page 417 and 418: nature and self-preservation, and d
Page 419 and 420: here?But those masks. They were the
Page 421 and 422: To Ing Cruz at As the Pages Turn Bo
Page 423: Penelope Douglas is a New York Time
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