Lot's Wife Edition 5 2015

22
STUDENT AFFAIRS
BY JULIA
PILLAI
An open letter to
‘Desk Leavers’
Coming up to the beloved business end of last semester,
I naturally found myself spending more time in the many libraries
of Monash, spending hours hunched over my laptop hurriedly
writing my final essays. Despite becoming more accustomed to
the environment of university libraries, I became aware and was
unable to accept a particular breed of student:
the Desk Leaver.
Desk Leavers themselves are difficult to spot because these
students are hardly ever seen in the libraries, let alone
to be using desks. However much like how feral rabbits
ravage through the natural landscape, forever changing
their environment, the desk-leavers leave traces; a couple of
textbooks, an exercise book, snackfood, sometimes in more
extreme cases tablets, phones or laptops, all neatly arranged
on an otherwise free desk.
I should note that there is nothing objectionable with
leaving belongings on desks for short periods of time, such
as to go to the bathroom, to get a drink from a vending
machine, to get a book from one of the racks, to have a quick
pace or stretch around the library after sitting for a long
time. These activities will not qualify you as a ‘Desk Leaver’.
Desk Leavers are those people who consistently leave their
belongings on desks, for as long as 3-4 hours. The plague that
is the Desk leaver is rampant; lines of desks in the library
are now left unattended with someone else’s shit on it just
so you can’t work there, leaving you to your own devices. You
may be forced to lie down and type, or type in lotus position,
perhaps stand and place your laptop on the bookrack to work.
At times you may be more resourceful, finding an empty book
"Perhaps we should
be more militant,
shaming Desk Leavers
on stalkerspace..."
trolley and stool to create a makeshift desk. I have tried it
all - I feel like I should invest in a fold up chair and desk next
exam season...
Laugh as much as you want, but the Desk Leaver is a
tyrant on society. They deserve the same scorn as bad
parkers and turnitin. As much as we say we’re at university
to make friends, we are here for parties, clubs & societies,
activism and politics, and for the best of us- contributing to
student media, ultimately we are at university to study so
we can evolve into educated people. The Desk Leaver poses
a direct threat towards our ability to do what we are here to
do. Most of us are polite because we would never move the
desk-leaver’s shit, because that would be mean. Hence, we
don’t work on the desk, because we don’t want to have a fight.
Perhaps we should be more militant, shaming Desk Leavers
on stalkerspace, writing angry notes, or maybe we should
even evolve into the ‘exam season bunny’. This would entail
hiding their laptops and books in random places for the desk
leaver to search frantically for their items while the deadline
for their essay comes near, though that in itself is just as
petty as being a Desk Leaver.
So to the Desk Leavers reading this letter - shame on you.
Before you say ‘I was doing an essay that was due on the day,
I couldn’t lose my spot’ or ‘I needed to go to class’ or ‘I had to
get lunch’, I’ll say this; we all needed a spot, we were all doing
that essay, we all had classes to go to, we all had to get lunch.
You’re all grown ups, learn how to share; we could use that
desk when you aren’t there.