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SEA OF SHADOWS 153
“Wait a second,” the XO said. “If this potato thing has been going on
for so long, why haven’t we seen this interference problem before this past
week?”
“Well, sir, the bamboo stick and the potato are transparent to radar.
The microwaves go right through them, so they don’t show up on the
screen. That’s how the mess attendants have been able to do this for so
long without getting caught. Then, last week, Seaman Apprentice Murphy
was assigned to mess attendant duties. One of the other mess attendants
shared the secret potato trick with Murphy, and that was when the problem
started.”
The captain’s eyebrows went up. “Seaman Apprentice Murphy
brought some new twist to the potato-and-stick routine?”
“Yes, sir,” Chief Lowery said. “I guess Murphy’s mother taught him to
wrap his potatoes in aluminum foil before he cooked them. And
aluminum is not radar transparent. A potato-sized piece of foil hanging
three or four inches in front of the array face throws a whole lot of
electromagnetic backscatter. Enough to jam the hell out of a big sector of
SPY’s coverage.”
Lieutenant Sikes looked at the deck and shook her head. “Two hundred
million dollars worth of state-of-the-art electronics, and we were being
jammed by a potato?”
“I’m afraid so, ma’am,” Chief Lowery said. “We only saw the
interference on the port side, because there’s a small landing at the top of
the 01 level ladder, just below the Super-RBOC launchers. It makes a
great place to stand when you’re holding the bamboo pole up in front of
the array. It can be done from the starboard side too, but there’s nowhere
to stand. You have to hang off the side of a vertical ladder and hold the
bamboo pole with one hand. The port side is much easier.”
The XO said, “Don’t tell me. I’ll bet I know why the jamming only
happened in the mid-afternoon. That’s when Seaman Apprentice Murphy
gets his break, isn’t it?”
“You hit the nail on the head, sir. But Murphy got rotated to the night
shift. That’s the only reason we found out about it at all. Murphy told the
night baker about his improved method of cooking potatoes, and the night
baker was smart enough to put two and two together. He came and woke
me up.” Chief Lowery looked at the captain. “If you ask me, sir, I think
CS3 Zeigler deserves a Letter of Appreciation for this. He single-handedly
solved the mystery of the ghost potato.”
The captain snorted, tried to hold it in, and then began to laugh quietly.
The Combat Systems Officer burst out with a laugh of her own, more like
the bray of a donkey than anything human. The entire group dissolved